It has been a long time since I posted, things have been moving very fast since my last post.
Every weekday has been going to WorkSource and the Public Library looking for a job. I replied to at least 5 craigslist ads everyday with a resume and a cover letter for the past month and a half. I got more responses from fraudulent ads (tons) than real jobs (not a single one!). It was beginning to feel like I wasn't even worthy to scoop dog poo (which I did apply for...)
I went to the airport jobs office and found a promising ad for National Rental Cars. The position was as a greeter which caters to the VIP members. It was my first call back, and my first interview and I couldn't have been more excited. At the end of the interview, he asked me if I had any questions for him. The only thing that wasn't brought up was the fact that I had a felony, which I gave full disclosure on the application. So I asked him how his company felt about my felony. His reply caught me completely off guard. He said, "Oh, your the felon. Well, that I will have to speak with management about. I'll call you by Monday." Yeah right! I was under the impression he already checked out the policy, which is why I got the interview. NOPE! He completely forgot I was the felon and focused on what he liked about my resume. I felt like I was punched in the stomach.
Fortunately for me, I called a friend I hadn't seen since my incarceration. She mentioned a friend of hers works at a company that was looking for customer service reps and would put me in touch with him. After we talked, he reviewed a copy of my resume with his boss and we set up an interview. It was immediately clear to me that they wanted to hire me and that I had finally secured a job. I started on Nov. 11th with Ecommerce Positioning and it has been going quite well. My first project is to organize a spreadsheet that consists of 37,000 pieces of inventory. It is a daunting task that apparently three people have tried to conquer and failed.
Well, it's 9:00 and it's time to get to it.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Guess who's back?
For those of you who don't know, I am in Seattle again. I got back on September 16th but only told family I was due back at that time. I suprised many friends on the street and at their jobs. I guess I really can't do anything in a 'normal' fashion.
I must say the bus ride up from Portland was quite surreal. I kept thinking that it wasn't really happening, in fact I can still barely believe it. Everything was new again: handeling cash, interacting with the public, the feel of denim jeans and finally, the realization that the public at large has no way of knowing where you've been. You get so used to the uniform and the impression it leaves on civilians when seen in it, that it's hard to remember that you shed that scarlet letter upon exiting the prison.
Anyway, I am in a halfway house until Dec.17th at which time I had better have found a place to live or I'll really be assed out. It's not bad but it has it's negative aspects too. In many ways you have much more freedom in prison, strange as it sounds to say. Difference is, more is excpected of you in here. No one is here to tell you what to do, just to aide in your re-entry into society. Where as in prison you are told what to do, where to be, and when. Some people fail here simply because they have lost or never had the ability to think independently and responsibly and mess up on purpose just to go back to their comfort zone.
I certainly don't fall into that category. I am happy to be back among my family and friends and look forward to closing this chapter of my life. I have learned a lot about myself and who I can rely on when times are tough.
So thank you to everyone for the letters, pictures, books, and support. I can't express enough how much it means to me.
I must say the bus ride up from Portland was quite surreal. I kept thinking that it wasn't really happening, in fact I can still barely believe it. Everything was new again: handeling cash, interacting with the public, the feel of denim jeans and finally, the realization that the public at large has no way of knowing where you've been. You get so used to the uniform and the impression it leaves on civilians when seen in it, that it's hard to remember that you shed that scarlet letter upon exiting the prison.
Anyway, I am in a halfway house until Dec.17th at which time I had better have found a place to live or I'll really be assed out. It's not bad but it has it's negative aspects too. In many ways you have much more freedom in prison, strange as it sounds to say. Difference is, more is excpected of you in here. No one is here to tell you what to do, just to aide in your re-entry into society. Where as in prison you are told what to do, where to be, and when. Some people fail here simply because they have lost or never had the ability to think independently and responsibly and mess up on purpose just to go back to their comfort zone.
I certainly don't fall into that category. I am happy to be back among my family and friends and look forward to closing this chapter of my life. I have learned a lot about myself and who I can rely on when times are tough.
So thank you to everyone for the letters, pictures, books, and support. I can't express enough how much it means to me.
Friday, August 6, 2010
7/20/2010
Well ACE has begun once again. Unfortunately, I was working during registration so I only am signed up for two classes this round. The only reason I got into those two classes is because I was automatically enrolled when I took the prerequisite for them. So this quarter I will be taking Life (Discovery Video Series) and Modern Marketing II. It will be nice to lighten up the load for the summer quarter, so I am not too bummed.
The computer class is going great. I am one chapter from being completely finished while the rest of the class is about 25% done. I can work on other programs and more resumes for the inmates going home along with continuing to help the teacher (an inmate) with the students.
Otherwise, the weather has been great and my allergies have finally subsided along with my third cold of the year. I am now participating in an intense work out class 5 days a week, which has been tough. Soon enough, I should be getting a job change off the serving line out to the dining room to wipe tables or sweep. Many kitchen workers do this when they are 6 months from the door or less. They call this the 'retirement plan' because instead of working three times a day, you only work once a day. That way I can do more running in the morning and I don't have to leave the workout class early on the days that I work. Besides, being on the line is a tad stressful because everyone blames you for their small portions, or if they don't like the piece of cake/fruit/chicken/etc. That shit is annoying and I can do without it.
Well, that's all. Things are moving along spectacularly. Soon enough, I will be out of here and on to the next phase of this process.
The computer class is going great. I am one chapter from being completely finished while the rest of the class is about 25% done. I can work on other programs and more resumes for the inmates going home along with continuing to help the teacher (an inmate) with the students.
Otherwise, the weather has been great and my allergies have finally subsided along with my third cold of the year. I am now participating in an intense work out class 5 days a week, which has been tough. Soon enough, I should be getting a job change off the serving line out to the dining room to wipe tables or sweep. Many kitchen workers do this when they are 6 months from the door or less. They call this the 'retirement plan' because instead of working three times a day, you only work once a day. That way I can do more running in the morning and I don't have to leave the workout class early on the days that I work. Besides, being on the line is a tad stressful because everyone blames you for their small portions, or if they don't like the piece of cake/fruit/chicken/etc. That shit is annoying and I can do without it.
Well, that's all. Things are moving along spectacularly. Soon enough, I will be out of here and on to the next phase of this process.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
7/4/10
Well, my ace classes are finished. These last 10 weeks have gone by at a decent pace. I guess we get a slightly longer break until the next round starts on the 17th of July. I am not sure what all will be available yet, but I will definitely be signing up for a few things. My computer class really makes time go by. I am further along on finishing the required material than anybody else, I am constructing resumes for inmates leaving soon, as well as other misc. projects, and I am helping the inmate teacher with the other inmates who are struggling. When my required work is done, I should be able to mess around with a 3-D modeling program called Google Sketch-Up, which is the class I wanted to take originally in lieu of this current MS Word class. In any case, I will be enrolled in that until Sept 25th when it unfortunately ends.
In piccle ball league news, my partner and I just dropped from first place to second in points. Today was a frustrating set of three games that we lost two of. We beat ourselves, but since it's for cumulative points and not wins, we are still in it. This league will go until August at which time the top 8 point leaders will do a double elimination tourney to determine this years top team. It has been a lot of fun so far, and should be another great distraction in which to keep the time rollin bye.
The 12th of this month will officially be my 6th full month in this place. All things considered, that's not too shabby. I have found enough things to keep myself occupied to not let extreme boredom set in and wear me down.
Happy 4th of July everybody!
In piccle ball league news, my partner and I just dropped from first place to second in points. Today was a frustrating set of three games that we lost two of. We beat ourselves, but since it's for cumulative points and not wins, we are still in it. This league will go until August at which time the top 8 point leaders will do a double elimination tourney to determine this years top team. It has been a lot of fun so far, and should be another great distraction in which to keep the time rollin bye.
The 12th of this month will officially be my 6th full month in this place. All things considered, that's not too shabby. I have found enough things to keep myself occupied to not let extreme boredom set in and wear me down.
Happy 4th of July everybody!
Monday, June 28, 2010
6/15
Okay, so last Monday was my birthday, something I was hoping to keep quiet around here. However, when my neighbor saw me open two cards on the same day, he said "Hey Dodd, that's your second card today... somethin tells me there's somethin your not tellin me" I replied as I left in a hurry, "Oh, these are just, 'hang in there cards'." Well, in my rush to leave, I forgot my ID was sitting out and it says the birth date right on it. Needless to say, shenanigans ensued for the rest of the day. Birthday in prison, makes for a good story sometime - but not anytime soon!
Anyway, classes are great and I finally got into the computer class. However, the course I wanted was full and I had to settle for a 100 hour course on Word 2007. While I don't feel that it will benefit me as much as the 100 hour 3D design class, I am sure I will learn a thing or two I didn't know. So far, I have spent most my time helping the teacher with the students because he is just one inmate to help all the other 25 inmates. He is the piccle ball league organizer and helped a lot with squeezing me into the computer classes this round; otherwise I would still be waiting until Sept. to get in.
Something funny about this place is all the wild life. There is a stock fish pond behind us that attracts hawks and a bald eagle diving in for the fish, so that is cool. Last year, the bald eagle got a goose and a duck. This year, only a duck - as far as anyone has seen anyway. I am surprised they don't try and get these cats running around here. There is about six skunks running amock, spraying all the cats. Every night we get inundated with the stench of skunk... that part sucks. We have a male and female duck that just had chicks, they are pretty cool; they have been running around here for a month or so. Then there is the raccoon gang. Those fuckers are relentless garbage diggers, so we have had to adjust our garbage dump routines. There are a couple of deer around along with a fox or two. Finally, the cats. One of them just had kittens, but we rarely see them out and about. The funny thing is, whenever the cats fight, EVERYONE runs to the windows to watch the fur fly. Some of the cats have earned nicknames like: Battle Cat (the fiercest fighter on the compound), Stretch (has a super elongated body), and CoonFucker (almost all white except its tail is a brownish grey color and has rings, just like a raccoon). Almost forgot, one of the raccoons is appropriately named tripod as he has only three legs. Oh, the things that entertain the mind of the detained.
Otherwise, I am still waiting on the official release date to the halfway house. That is the next most important mile stone to reach. Barring something news worthy, I probably won't write again for a week or so.
Anyway, classes are great and I finally got into the computer class. However, the course I wanted was full and I had to settle for a 100 hour course on Word 2007. While I don't feel that it will benefit me as much as the 100 hour 3D design class, I am sure I will learn a thing or two I didn't know. So far, I have spent most my time helping the teacher with the students because he is just one inmate to help all the other 25 inmates. He is the piccle ball league organizer and helped a lot with squeezing me into the computer classes this round; otherwise I would still be waiting until Sept. to get in.
Something funny about this place is all the wild life. There is a stock fish pond behind us that attracts hawks and a bald eagle diving in for the fish, so that is cool. Last year, the bald eagle got a goose and a duck. This year, only a duck - as far as anyone has seen anyway. I am surprised they don't try and get these cats running around here. There is about six skunks running amock, spraying all the cats. Every night we get inundated with the stench of skunk... that part sucks. We have a male and female duck that just had chicks, they are pretty cool; they have been running around here for a month or so. Then there is the raccoon gang. Those fuckers are relentless garbage diggers, so we have had to adjust our garbage dump routines. There are a couple of deer around along with a fox or two. Finally, the cats. One of them just had kittens, but we rarely see them out and about. The funny thing is, whenever the cats fight, EVERYONE runs to the windows to watch the fur fly. Some of the cats have earned nicknames like: Battle Cat (the fiercest fighter on the compound), Stretch (has a super elongated body), and CoonFucker (almost all white except its tail is a brownish grey color and has rings, just like a raccoon). Almost forgot, one of the raccoons is appropriately named tripod as he has only three legs. Oh, the things that entertain the mind of the detained.
Otherwise, I am still waiting on the official release date to the halfway house. That is the next most important mile stone to reach. Barring something news worthy, I probably won't write again for a week or so.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
5/23
The last week has been crazy with all the new changes coming through. We got a new Camp Admin. and he is flexing on us to show off for the big wigs. Of course, that means disrupting the natural flow of things here just to suit his needs. First, he took away all of the benches with padding on them from the rec. yard that we used to do dips on. He said people were lifting the benches and that was deemed illegal. A couple days later, he took away the incline ab benches because people were doing bench presses with them. Again, the actions of few are costing everyone that uses them properly. They bolted down other pieces of equipment in the past, why can't they just do that again. When asked, he said they shouldn't have to and we should be disciplined enough to know better. FUCK THAT. Rule number one: do your own time. No one is going to stop someone for lifting the equipment, to each their own. Bolt the shit down and be done with it. Finally, he is saying no fruit can leave the chow hall what so ever. That sucks as many of us liked to enjoy a piece at night in lue of the normal shit they sell on commissary.
In a really basic way, it's like this guy is only taking things away that we use to stay healthy. I'm not sure if I said this before, but this guy claims this camp is outta control. Go to any other facility on the west coast and you will see cell phones, drugs, guys gettin laid, McDonalds being snuck in, booze, tobacco, etc. No joke. In the last year, there has been no failed UA's, breathalizers, no cell phones found, and on the rare occasion some tobacco has been reported. Otherwise, this is prolly the most tame camp on the west coast, maybe in the entire country. FYI, the DOJ (department of justice) passed a new law that makes posession of a cell phone in prison a crime and you can get another 12 months sentence. I highly doubt that someone is going to risk that here. So how he can come up with a statement like that is absolutely ridiculous. Again, flexing for the boss. Problem is, he is just taking people to the hole for the most minor of infractions, which goes against the regulations. He will be filed on for doing it, but that process is overseen by the BOP, so I wonder who they will side with... Nothing will get done from within, it has to come from a lawsuit.
Anyway, I just need to focus on making it through as I don't have that long to go.
BTW, I am outta good books to read so if you can, please send me a book off that list from a week ago!!! I would really appreciate it!!!
I'll write again soon.
In a really basic way, it's like this guy is only taking things away that we use to stay healthy. I'm not sure if I said this before, but this guy claims this camp is outta control. Go to any other facility on the west coast and you will see cell phones, drugs, guys gettin laid, McDonalds being snuck in, booze, tobacco, etc. No joke. In the last year, there has been no failed UA's, breathalizers, no cell phones found, and on the rare occasion some tobacco has been reported. Otherwise, this is prolly the most tame camp on the west coast, maybe in the entire country. FYI, the DOJ (department of justice) passed a new law that makes posession of a cell phone in prison a crime and you can get another 12 months sentence. I highly doubt that someone is going to risk that here. So how he can come up with a statement like that is absolutely ridiculous. Again, flexing for the boss. Problem is, he is just taking people to the hole for the most minor of infractions, which goes against the regulations. He will be filed on for doing it, but that process is overseen by the BOP, so I wonder who they will side with... Nothing will get done from within, it has to come from a lawsuit.
Anyway, I just need to focus on making it through as I don't have that long to go.
BTW, I am outta good books to read so if you can, please send me a book off that list from a week ago!!! I would really appreciate it!!!
I'll write again soon.
5/17
So I had a Team Meeting today. This is my second meeting. Normally you have the meetings with your case manager and your councilor. Of course, "normal" does not apply to this backwoods ran facility. My first Team was with only my case manager, as the councilor didn't feel the need to be there. Luckily, your first Team is just to prep you for your later Teams. The job description for case managers and councilor alike are to outline a plan for success on the outside by helping you obtain things like your Birth Certificate, Social Security Card, State Identification, and a resume. Also, they help you plan financially if you have court ordered reprimandations, get into drug education classes, and to guide you through the six RPP (release preparation programming) classes. Again, that is all under "normal" circumstances or at a "normal" facility. Here, they just slough you off as another headache, collect their pay checks and go home; 20-25 years to retire and they are set for life with a modest budget to live on.
Sorry for the little tangent, lets get back to the Team Meeting. As I walk in, the first thing I notice is that this isn't my councilor nor is it my case manager. I ask what happened to my case manager and I got a very casual response of, "Oh, he got another job a couple of weeks ago." Umm, wow, that's nice to know, a few weeks later. "So where is my councilor," I asked. "She is busy," was the only response. Really? That's quite the effort she is putting into being a councilor, especially since she hasn't seen me once since my arrival! After all that, the next thing out of the councilor's mouth was a jab at me about three stamps. Remember, she was the one who fucked me out of my orderly job because her precious snitch decided to hit me. I couldn't believe her gall to sit there and belittle me over something that I had no part in causing. So I said, "You are so funny you should quit your day job and become a comedian. Seriously, do us a favor and just quit." Needless to say, it was a little awkward for the first few minutes in there, until the case manger, who had a look of total disbelief, steered the conversation back on track. I should note that this councilor is a stand up guy who makes my old councilor look like a total tool in terms of accountability and credibility. He is the only councilor or case manager here who doesn't treat us like we are sub-human. Anyway, he praised me for my ability to have everything in early (resume, birth cert., ssc, drivers license) and to be on top of my RPP classes. My points are zero (0-11 can be at camp, 12-21 are designated to lows, 22+ goes to mediums), I have no incident reports (shots), and I haven't been assigned extra duty (most minor of punishments for small infractions). It was a good to know that I am doing so well and that is transcribed on paper as it will only benefit me when I go on probation.
So aside from the snide comments from that councilor, it went well. My classes are entering the 4th week, so only 6 more weeks to go. In order to keep on track with ACE schedule, we will only get a week off in between this and the next round of classes instead of the normal 3 weeks. I guess somewhere along the way over the past year and a half, the BOP staff here let them fall behind schedule. I am okay with that as the two hour classes certainly help time pass, especially when taking four of them a week.
I am getting increasingly excited as summer approaches. I am co-hosting a piccle ball tournament, providing we get enough teams together. I opted out of softball league and volleyball league as the injuries are plentiful every year, especially to the ankles and knees. Prison is not the place to get injured as the medical staff here are completely inept in dealing with anything more than a headache. If you can't hack it in a real hospital environment, you sign up for a position with the BOP. After all, once your union, you can totally fuck up a patient with no consequences (well, anything short of causing death that is) and not get fired. Rumor has it that the local hospital has logged so many complaints against the mistreatment of patients prior to them being received, that the head medical guy is going into early retirement.
Well, I feel better now that I got those couple of complaints off my chest. While it's not a perfect place, it could always be worse - believe that. So again, I am bitching over relatively minor shit, so pay no mind. I just need to vent in order to move on from it!
Sorry for the little tangent, lets get back to the Team Meeting. As I walk in, the first thing I notice is that this isn't my councilor nor is it my case manager. I ask what happened to my case manager and I got a very casual response of, "Oh, he got another job a couple of weeks ago." Umm, wow, that's nice to know, a few weeks later. "So where is my councilor," I asked. "She is busy," was the only response. Really? That's quite the effort she is putting into being a councilor, especially since she hasn't seen me once since my arrival! After all that, the next thing out of the councilor's mouth was a jab at me about three stamps. Remember, she was the one who fucked me out of my orderly job because her precious snitch decided to hit me. I couldn't believe her gall to sit there and belittle me over something that I had no part in causing. So I said, "You are so funny you should quit your day job and become a comedian. Seriously, do us a favor and just quit." Needless to say, it was a little awkward for the first few minutes in there, until the case manger, who had a look of total disbelief, steered the conversation back on track. I should note that this councilor is a stand up guy who makes my old councilor look like a total tool in terms of accountability and credibility. He is the only councilor or case manager here who doesn't treat us like we are sub-human. Anyway, he praised me for my ability to have everything in early (resume, birth cert., ssc, drivers license) and to be on top of my RPP classes. My points are zero (0-11 can be at camp, 12-21 are designated to lows, 22+ goes to mediums), I have no incident reports (shots), and I haven't been assigned extra duty (most minor of punishments for small infractions). It was a good to know that I am doing so well and that is transcribed on paper as it will only benefit me when I go on probation.
So aside from the snide comments from that councilor, it went well. My classes are entering the 4th week, so only 6 more weeks to go. In order to keep on track with ACE schedule, we will only get a week off in between this and the next round of classes instead of the normal 3 weeks. I guess somewhere along the way over the past year and a half, the BOP staff here let them fall behind schedule. I am okay with that as the two hour classes certainly help time pass, especially when taking four of them a week.
I am getting increasingly excited as summer approaches. I am co-hosting a piccle ball tournament, providing we get enough teams together. I opted out of softball league and volleyball league as the injuries are plentiful every year, especially to the ankles and knees. Prison is not the place to get injured as the medical staff here are completely inept in dealing with anything more than a headache. If you can't hack it in a real hospital environment, you sign up for a position with the BOP. After all, once your union, you can totally fuck up a patient with no consequences (well, anything short of causing death that is) and not get fired. Rumor has it that the local hospital has logged so many complaints against the mistreatment of patients prior to them being received, that the head medical guy is going into early retirement.
Well, I feel better now that I got those couple of complaints off my chest. While it's not a perfect place, it could always be worse - believe that. So again, I am bitching over relatively minor shit, so pay no mind. I just need to vent in order to move on from it!
Friday, May 14, 2010
5/1/10
My first week of ACE classes went well. Tuesdays I am in History of WWII, Wednsdays Ancient Civilizations, Thursday is Future Marketing (internet marketing), and Friday I am in Earth Science.
The HoWWII and AC classes are the same corriculium as the first teacher taught it, but this current teacher lacks the enthusiasm and seemingly infinite depth of knowledge on these subjects when compared to our former teacher. It will be harder to stay focused, but none the less, I am confident that I will complete this round with good results.
The Future Marketing class is all about the dos and don'ts of using the internet to market your business. It should be interesting despite the fact that the BOP decided that my bunky couldn't teach it as originally planned. They feel it is too closely related to his crime. Funny thing is they have let him teach it four times in the past 2 years. The current teacher is simply not a teacher nor a good public speaker. While that is frustrating, I know that there is still a lot of quality information to be attained from this class.
The final class is an all movie class. We will be watching the Earth series and the Blue Planet series on DVD and then we will have a test at the end of each class. We also had a pre-test which means we will have a final test at the end of ten weeks. I have a distinct advantage to most of my classmates as I not only watched both these series before, I own them too and have watched them multiple times. It still is never boring to watch. The great thing is for the third quarter classes, the teacher is ordering the Life series that has just debue and will have a class on that as well. I am looking forward to that as no one here wanted to watch it in the TV rooms...
Anyway, I will be very busy with those four classes this quarter and am looking forward to it. I will write again at the end of next week.
The HoWWII and AC classes are the same corriculium as the first teacher taught it, but this current teacher lacks the enthusiasm and seemingly infinite depth of knowledge on these subjects when compared to our former teacher. It will be harder to stay focused, but none the less, I am confident that I will complete this round with good results.
The Future Marketing class is all about the dos and don'ts of using the internet to market your business. It should be interesting despite the fact that the BOP decided that my bunky couldn't teach it as originally planned. They feel it is too closely related to his crime. Funny thing is they have let him teach it four times in the past 2 years. The current teacher is simply not a teacher nor a good public speaker. While that is frustrating, I know that there is still a lot of quality information to be attained from this class.
The final class is an all movie class. We will be watching the Earth series and the Blue Planet series on DVD and then we will have a test at the end of each class. We also had a pre-test which means we will have a final test at the end of ten weeks. I have a distinct advantage to most of my classmates as I not only watched both these series before, I own them too and have watched them multiple times. It still is never boring to watch. The great thing is for the third quarter classes, the teacher is ordering the Life series that has just debue and will have a class on that as well. I am looking forward to that as no one here wanted to watch it in the TV rooms...
Anyway, I will be very busy with those four classes this quarter and am looking forward to it. I will write again at the end of next week.
4/26/10
Today is my first day of yet another kitchen assignment. I was in the 'pit' (scrubbing pots and pans), then I was moved to spraying trays (a pseudo promotion as it is more of a lateral move in the higharcy), and now I am on the line (serving food). All this within three weeks of my return from the hole.
There are plenty who envy my position as you supposedly get extra servings of food and if the cop is nice, he may let you take some left overs home. In all honesty, that means nothing to me as all the food looks, tastes, and smells like shit. Not to mention horrible for you in terms of health. While the work is fast and furious, making the time pass quickly, it is annoying how much bullshit I have to put up with. Not only from the other inmates bitching about what a lousy piece of cake I gave them, or how small the fruit was, but the fucking cop today had some demeaning line for me every other minute. I don't care for it. Besides that, the guy can't take what he dishes out. If you speak up or take a verbal jab back, he runs for the paperwork to give you a shot. I am not going to be putting up with it for long, I want off the line immediately. Luckily, my allergies are kicking in and that may be the ticket off the line. Can't have someone sneezing all over the food, not that that would be the only unsanitary thing to happen to the food on it's way to the trays.
So for now, I will be sticking it out on the line until further notice. My question is, if the job is so envied, why can't I get switched out? Well, I found out why when I showed up to work. I am the first white server since I first got here. Remember that guy in my wing that went to the hole my first week here? He was working on the line when he got taken in, the last of the cacassions. For some resemblance of fairness, they stuck me there.
Otherwise, ACE classes start today, not next week as I originally thought. There was a teacher who took over the two history classes from last round, so I will take those again (History of WWII and Ancient Civilizations). I am also taking a class on Blue Planet, based off of the discovery series. Not sure how it will be structured, but I do know that we will have a pre-test on day one and a final test on the last day of class and will watch a bit of the series in class. Should be interesting to say the least. Much to my dismay, there will not be any credit smart classes this round.
There was one other class I signed up for, but now I am not sure I want to take it. It is called Future Marketing and it deals with the subject of internet marketing. What changed my mind is that the BOP won't let the original teacher (my current bunky) teach it again despite that he has for the past 4 rounds of classes. They suddenly decided it is too closely related to a crime of his past. They didn't feel that way before, but a change in the ranks suddenly changed some minds as well. Anyway, they guy that is replacing him doesn't have nearly the qualifications to be teaching it and doesn't have any hands on experience doing it, only what he has read and retained during prison. So after a class or two, I will make my final decision on if I will drop it or not.
There are plenty who envy my position as you supposedly get extra servings of food and if the cop is nice, he may let you take some left overs home. In all honesty, that means nothing to me as all the food looks, tastes, and smells like shit. Not to mention horrible for you in terms of health. While the work is fast and furious, making the time pass quickly, it is annoying how much bullshit I have to put up with. Not only from the other inmates bitching about what a lousy piece of cake I gave them, or how small the fruit was, but the fucking cop today had some demeaning line for me every other minute. I don't care for it. Besides that, the guy can't take what he dishes out. If you speak up or take a verbal jab back, he runs for the paperwork to give you a shot. I am not going to be putting up with it for long, I want off the line immediately. Luckily, my allergies are kicking in and that may be the ticket off the line. Can't have someone sneezing all over the food, not that that would be the only unsanitary thing to happen to the food on it's way to the trays.
So for now, I will be sticking it out on the line until further notice. My question is, if the job is so envied, why can't I get switched out? Well, I found out why when I showed up to work. I am the first white server since I first got here. Remember that guy in my wing that went to the hole my first week here? He was working on the line when he got taken in, the last of the cacassions. For some resemblance of fairness, they stuck me there.
Otherwise, ACE classes start today, not next week as I originally thought. There was a teacher who took over the two history classes from last round, so I will take those again (History of WWII and Ancient Civilizations). I am also taking a class on Blue Planet, based off of the discovery series. Not sure how it will be structured, but I do know that we will have a pre-test on day one and a final test on the last day of class and will watch a bit of the series in class. Should be interesting to say the least. Much to my dismay, there will not be any credit smart classes this round.
There was one other class I signed up for, but now I am not sure I want to take it. It is called Future Marketing and it deals with the subject of internet marketing. What changed my mind is that the BOP won't let the original teacher (my current bunky) teach it again despite that he has for the past 4 rounds of classes. They suddenly decided it is too closely related to a crime of his past. They didn't feel that way before, but a change in the ranks suddenly changed some minds as well. Anyway, they guy that is replacing him doesn't have nearly the qualifications to be teaching it and doesn't have any hands on experience doing it, only what he has read and retained during prison. So after a class or two, I will make my final decision on if I will drop it or not.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
4/17/10
Today was my first day off in my two on two off schedule and I planned on sleeping in a bit. However, around 7:30am I got a paged. The cop said over the loud speaker, "Dodd, report to the kitchen immediately if you want out of kitchen duty." I quickly rolled out of bed and got dressed. I walked into the office not sure of what to expect from this cop as he is a notorious bullshitter and way full of himself. He asked me if I wanted out of the dish pit, and of course I said yes. Then he asked me if I wanted an AM kitchen orderly position. Now that would entail going to work at 4am five days a week, working seven hours, and getting paid $20 a month. Not even close to worth it as it would interfere with my taking ACE classes that are usually scheduled for a 6-8pm time slot.
After I turned that down, he offered a bakers position. Working at 4:30am, less pay, and again interfering with my ACE classes. He even suggested that the added benefit of taking food home as a baker might make it worth it to me. Now that was a poorly laid trap by this very inept cop. You see, ANYTHING taken from the kitchen is stealing. Punishment includes; A 200 series shot for stealing (same series as a shot for fighting), going to the hole, loss of good time, and upon return, going to work in the dish pit. Not only that, that statement is from the cop who enforces these rules more strictly than any other cop on the kitchen roster. Besides, the only reason I have the opportunity to move out of the pit is because he is punishing someone he caught doing something he didn't like and he wants to stick them in the pit. When I told him no, I added, "The main line offers three squares a day that keep me plenty full, so no thanks."
Finally he offered the job I wanted: emptying food trays (banger), spraying food trays, or loading/unloading food trays from the dishwasher. I listed those three shifts because it will be decided which specific chore I get when I talk to the rest of the crew (three people total). It's the same schedule I already work (two days on two off) and I will be switching to the "B" schedule where I already know almost everyone I will be working with. The last benefit, while only a short term, is I get 4 days off in a row in order to catch up to the "B" schedule. It's a win win!
All in all, I am happy with the outcome of today's events. ACE registration starts in two weeks and available classes will be posted in one week. I know what I want to take, but that doesn't mean it will be offered the time around. I'll let ya know what I do next week.
After I turned that down, he offered a bakers position. Working at 4:30am, less pay, and again interfering with my ACE classes. He even suggested that the added benefit of taking food home as a baker might make it worth it to me. Now that was a poorly laid trap by this very inept cop. You see, ANYTHING taken from the kitchen is stealing. Punishment includes; A 200 series shot for stealing (same series as a shot for fighting), going to the hole, loss of good time, and upon return, going to work in the dish pit. Not only that, that statement is from the cop who enforces these rules more strictly than any other cop on the kitchen roster. Besides, the only reason I have the opportunity to move out of the pit is because he is punishing someone he caught doing something he didn't like and he wants to stick them in the pit. When I told him no, I added, "The main line offers three squares a day that keep me plenty full, so no thanks."
Finally he offered the job I wanted: emptying food trays (banger), spraying food trays, or loading/unloading food trays from the dishwasher. I listed those three shifts because it will be decided which specific chore I get when I talk to the rest of the crew (three people total). It's the same schedule I already work (two days on two off) and I will be switching to the "B" schedule where I already know almost everyone I will be working with. The last benefit, while only a short term, is I get 4 days off in a row in order to catch up to the "B" schedule. It's a win win!
All in all, I am happy with the outcome of today's events. ACE registration starts in two weeks and available classes will be posted in one week. I know what I want to take, but that doesn't mean it will be offered the time around. I'll let ya know what I do next week.
4/12/10
I woke up this morning around 1am and noticed my bunky (Bruce) was gone. All day he had been complaining of chest pains and saying he very well may go to the hospital if it kept up. He is a huge guy who eats shitty processed food all day, plus eats all three meals served at the chow hall. At the time, I just thought he went to watch TV somewhere or was taking a deuce.
When I got back from work, he was still gone and I was being asked if I knew where he went. I didn't and said so, but another inmate saw him lumbering downstairs, saying he looked pale and was drenched in sweat. He apparently called the admin office using the emergency phone and was taken to the hospital.
The really strange part of all this was when the cop came into our wing for the 8:30am census count. We asked him about Bruce and he said not to worry, he'll be back. They always keep guys for observation, especially when dealing with someone like Bruce who already has a slew of medical conditions. However, after saying that, the cop only referred to Bruce in the past tense. How much did he weigh? How good was his diet? How old was he? We all caught onto it, but no one called him out on it.
I must remind you that most inmates, after doing some, time become rather conspiratorial; nothing is a coincidence. We had a 6:00pm emergency count and we all had to show ID and state our inmate number. When the cop got to our cube, the three of us still there did so, and the cop looked all confused at the empty bunk and asked where my bunky was. In the hospital, we all replied unanimously. Then he asked his name, and after telling him, he looked at the master roster and said, "That's weird, he isn't even on the roster." and walked out. So of course, the negative speculation on his status spread like wild fire. I am certain he is okay only because they haven't come to clean out his locker. That is always the sure sign that someone isn't coming back.
In other news, the new ACE classes registration should begin in 3-4 weeks. So hopefully I can get through my selected classes without going to the hole this round. The computer classes I want don't begin until June, and I am still on the cusp of whether or not I make it into that quarter. It is the same exact story with the Building Trades class I want to get into. I will just have to hope somebody doesn't sign up and I get to take there spot.
When I got back from work, he was still gone and I was being asked if I knew where he went. I didn't and said so, but another inmate saw him lumbering downstairs, saying he looked pale and was drenched in sweat. He apparently called the admin office using the emergency phone and was taken to the hospital.
The really strange part of all this was when the cop came into our wing for the 8:30am census count. We asked him about Bruce and he said not to worry, he'll be back. They always keep guys for observation, especially when dealing with someone like Bruce who already has a slew of medical conditions. However, after saying that, the cop only referred to Bruce in the past tense. How much did he weigh? How good was his diet? How old was he? We all caught onto it, but no one called him out on it.
I must remind you that most inmates, after doing some, time become rather conspiratorial; nothing is a coincidence. We had a 6:00pm emergency count and we all had to show ID and state our inmate number. When the cop got to our cube, the three of us still there did so, and the cop looked all confused at the empty bunk and asked where my bunky was. In the hospital, we all replied unanimously. Then he asked his name, and after telling him, he looked at the master roster and said, "That's weird, he isn't even on the roster." and walked out. So of course, the negative speculation on his status spread like wild fire. I am certain he is okay only because they haven't come to clean out his locker. That is always the sure sign that someone isn't coming back.
In other news, the new ACE classes registration should begin in 3-4 weeks. So hopefully I can get through my selected classes without going to the hole this round. The computer classes I want don't begin until June, and I am still on the cusp of whether or not I make it into that quarter. It is the same exact story with the Building Trades class I want to get into. I will just have to hope somebody doesn't sign up and I get to take there spot.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Wanna Send some Books?
These are a current list of books I would really like to read. If you want to ship one in, email i.am.irrelevant to stake claim in a certain book so I don't get duplicates. Wait to order until you get confirmation on the availability of that book.
They are all from one author, Michael Connelly:
Blood Work
Chasing the Dime
Lost Light
A Darkness More Than Night
The Overlook
The Last Coyote
The Scarecrow
Brass Verdict
Murder in Vegas (collab with other authors)
They are all from one author, Michael Connelly:
Blood Work
Chasing the Dime
Lost Light
A Darkness More Than Night
The Overlook
The Last Coyote
The Scarecrow
Brass Verdict
Murder in Vegas (collab with other authors)
Finally Back to Camp
*Please enjoy the next few weeks e-mails in a few bulk installments....
04/05/10
Well, well, well... The age of false promises and dis information finally ceases - temporarily I am sure. I was told I am going back to camp today and they actually followed up on that information. They pulled me out of my cell at 4:30pm and I stayed in a dry cell (no sink, no toilet, and one concrete bench) until 7:00pm. Why? I don't know, it doesn't make any sense to me. As to be expected, I was assigned a new bunk and I will get a new job assignment. Both were held for me until the end of the third week, at which time it was assumed I was not coming back.
My reception back was as I expected. Shock at the fact that after five weeks I returned combined with the relief and enthusiasm in knowing that the assailant Enos will not return. There is not one person who is sad to see him go, not even his own people. I found out he had gotten into it with someone else earlier that day, verbally provoking the guy until it was broke up. It is obvious now what his intentions where that day - checking out (getting kicked out of this facility and transferred to a different one - usually to avoid paying debts). It just so happened that he chose me to aid him in his plan.
I am getting settled into my new cube here in the "morgue". It is called that because this wing's average age is 55-60 and most are in bed by 8pm. While this wing is highly coveted by many inmates for it's quiet atmosphere, I hate it. I really want to move but it won't happen for months... if ever. The admins hate doing bed moves and it rarely happens the way you want it to.
Well, it's good to be back. Time to get some sleep.
04/06/10
I woke up early to hit the laundry to get fitted for my new set of greens since the cops take and cycle your old one when you go to the hole. Then at 7am I got a T.B. test at medical and then immediately reported to the kitchen to get my assignment and schedule. I start Thursday at pots and pans (the lowest position - usually reserved for those who are being punished). Shitty!
I asked the councilor in charge of the orderly positions if she had anything coming up for me as far as a job goes. She immediately said no and that I don't have anything coming. She also added that I should expect a shot (incident report) in the next week for fighting. I could hardly keep from laughing in her face at her absurd comment. I told her that I was cleared of all wrong doing and that policy clearly states I would not be back at camp if I was guilty of fighting. Her rebuttal was to say that she was just repeating what she was told. Truth of the matter is, she lost her head orderly and his actions make her look bad. She is mad at me because she isn't adult enough to recognize and admit she made a terrible mistake in hiring that guy. So now I have a felling this lady is gunning for me and that sucks. I will steer clear of her and let her cool down.
04/08/10
My day started at 4:30am so as to be ready for work by 5am. I scrubbed dishes until 7am, did it all again from 10am until 12pm, and once more from 3pm until 6pm. It really wouldn't be bad if the sink wasn't built at a height for oompa-loompas and they gave us gloves as the industrial strength sanitizer is murder on my skin. I have a nasty rash after only one day and I am not the only one with that same complaint.
Unknown to me, my buddy is the new assistant head orderly and asked to hire me for a position coming up in a few weeks. The councilor said absolutely not, she will never sign off on it. In addition, she told him she blames me for what happened. She said I caused him to hit me by verbally assaulting him. Fuck, this lady is bat-shit crazy! She just can't come to terms with all this, and is absolutely blind to the facts in this case. I told him thanks anyway, but it sounds like I need to find work outside of the orderly area.
Aside from that, I am fully unpacked after getting all my property back. I am so wiped out, I may actually sleep all the way through the night.
04/05/10
Well, well, well... The age of false promises and dis information finally ceases - temporarily I am sure. I was told I am going back to camp today and they actually followed up on that information. They pulled me out of my cell at 4:30pm and I stayed in a dry cell (no sink, no toilet, and one concrete bench) until 7:00pm. Why? I don't know, it doesn't make any sense to me. As to be expected, I was assigned a new bunk and I will get a new job assignment. Both were held for me until the end of the third week, at which time it was assumed I was not coming back.
My reception back was as I expected. Shock at the fact that after five weeks I returned combined with the relief and enthusiasm in knowing that the assailant Enos will not return. There is not one person who is sad to see him go, not even his own people. I found out he had gotten into it with someone else earlier that day, verbally provoking the guy until it was broke up. It is obvious now what his intentions where that day - checking out (getting kicked out of this facility and transferred to a different one - usually to avoid paying debts). It just so happened that he chose me to aid him in his plan.
I am getting settled into my new cube here in the "morgue". It is called that because this wing's average age is 55-60 and most are in bed by 8pm. While this wing is highly coveted by many inmates for it's quiet atmosphere, I hate it. I really want to move but it won't happen for months... if ever. The admins hate doing bed moves and it rarely happens the way you want it to.
Well, it's good to be back. Time to get some sleep.
04/06/10
I woke up early to hit the laundry to get fitted for my new set of greens since the cops take and cycle your old one when you go to the hole. Then at 7am I got a T.B. test at medical and then immediately reported to the kitchen to get my assignment and schedule. I start Thursday at pots and pans (the lowest position - usually reserved for those who are being punished). Shitty!
I asked the councilor in charge of the orderly positions if she had anything coming up for me as far as a job goes. She immediately said no and that I don't have anything coming. She also added that I should expect a shot (incident report) in the next week for fighting. I could hardly keep from laughing in her face at her absurd comment. I told her that I was cleared of all wrong doing and that policy clearly states I would not be back at camp if I was guilty of fighting. Her rebuttal was to say that she was just repeating what she was told. Truth of the matter is, she lost her head orderly and his actions make her look bad. She is mad at me because she isn't adult enough to recognize and admit she made a terrible mistake in hiring that guy. So now I have a felling this lady is gunning for me and that sucks. I will steer clear of her and let her cool down.
04/08/10
My day started at 4:30am so as to be ready for work by 5am. I scrubbed dishes until 7am, did it all again from 10am until 12pm, and once more from 3pm until 6pm. It really wouldn't be bad if the sink wasn't built at a height for oompa-loompas and they gave us gloves as the industrial strength sanitizer is murder on my skin. I have a nasty rash after only one day and I am not the only one with that same complaint.
Unknown to me, my buddy is the new assistant head orderly and asked to hire me for a position coming up in a few weeks. The councilor said absolutely not, she will never sign off on it. In addition, she told him she blames me for what happened. She said I caused him to hit me by verbally assaulting him. Fuck, this lady is bat-shit crazy! She just can't come to terms with all this, and is absolutely blind to the facts in this case. I told him thanks anyway, but it sounds like I need to find work outside of the orderly area.
Aside from that, I am fully unpacked after getting all my property back. I am so wiped out, I may actually sleep all the way through the night.
Friday, April 30, 2010
The Hole, fín.
*Editor's note: I'm the worst blogger in the world. Please accept my sincerest apologies as I try to update my ass off***
3/26
Today they moved everyone to different cells. We got moved to a three-man cell which has a bunk over the small metal desk. While we won't have three people living here (thank fucking god!) it cuts the amount of "free space" (what an oxymoron!) in half. It is already causing a great deal of tension between my celly and I. I can't stand the childish ignorance he spews out of that broken faucet he calls his mouth, and it's only getting worse.
On Monday, the guard told three inmates, including myself, "pack up, you're going home" (ie back from whence we came - in my case, camp). They took two of the guys, but left me here. When I asked, the shift change had just come on, so no one knew what I was talking about. Tuesday, the guard from Monday asked why I was still there, I told him I had no clue. By the day's end, I had no answers and a growing concern about my status. Wednesday, I asked a different guard what was going on and he said that the captain (who has final say on where I end up) said he had to ask the SIS investigator a question before making his decision. The guard alluded to the SIS lady being out for the rest of the week, so naturally my hope of being freed from here starts next week. Tuesday the 30th will mark a whole month of being here, one week shy of balancing with the five weeks i was in camp. In a strange way with the exception of this week, the time has gone by relatively fast in here. I think it's partly because I spend almost 12 hours sleeping, but who knows?
The only upside to this information is it tells me which way the investigation is heading - I just wish it would hurry the fuck up.
3/30
Here I sit, four weeks to the day since my arrival, and yet again I am not being transferred back to camp. Yesterday, the camp administrator told me I should be leaving by Tuesday at the latest, yet here I sit. Difference between this week's and last week's news is the title and rank of the camp administrator, which implies the information should be true and accurate. After all, the camp is his domain and he answers only to one man, the warden. Whereas last week my info was from low-level CO, it was reckless to get my hopes up again, but it's hard not to considering the source.
My frustrations have continued to build since the arrival of my assailant to this floor. He talks about the incident freely, as if cheap shotting someone is some great feat to gloat about. Today I over-heard him (you have to yell out your cell door to each other to talk) saying how even he is surprised he hasn't been charged. He said the evidence against him was so overwhelming and accurate, he didn't even try to lie to the SIS lady. I'm skeptical about the last statement, but given what I do know, I am slightly inclined to believe the first statement. Which makes me question, Why is this taking so long? How can the BOP justify their actions these past two weeks? Why am I still being punished. Man, this shit just wears me out.
In other news, my celly suddenly got word today that he is being transferred out. A small ray of sunshine in an otherwise bleak month. It's hard to say how much longer I would have been able to tolerate his seemingly infinite ignorance. The downside is, of course, the gamble of dealing with an all new personality. It is inevitable that they will do so, only a matter of time. If I had my way, I wouldn't have a roomy. If I was forced to pick one, I'd choose a deaf mute who sleeps 23.5 hours a day. One can dream, can't he?
4/1
I wish I didn't write that last post until later that night or the next day, as yet again I have allowed myself to become a victim of their disinformation. I swear they are as bad as the Nazi party in their heyday at spreading false truths, and I'm so naïve, I keep buying into the bullshit. Let me explain: After sending the last letter expressing some optimism in my situation due to the information I received from a man of significant authority, I was informed by a simple, low-level counselor that the investigation has taken a big step backwards. She said I should expect to be in here another 2 - 4 weeks, as the captain wants the investigation to start all over. So again, I'm left completely in the dark, with no hope in sight.
Another revelation on the subject I learned today is that my assailant did lie to the SIS. He claims I pushed him. That is his reasoning for hitting me, despite what he tells everyone here in the hole. Obviously he is trying to cover up for his cowardly move because he knows people just won't put up with unprovoked attacks. So again, my innocence can only be proven from the witnesses. I thought that when I was originally told to pack out on the 22nd, three weeks into investigation, that surely the evidence in my favor was overwhelming - that's the only reason I could be going home so soon. Now it feels like I'm starting over, like I just walked into the hole for the first time. It's ironic considering it was one year ago to the day that I was first arrested -I had many questions and zero answers.
It's a shame I never got around to posting the letters I wrote during those few days I was locked up after being arrested. I do remember one detail quite vividly about my first court date on April 1st, 2009. That was my total shock at realizing I was facing the feds, not the state. I realized it as soon as the judge said "The United States Government vs. G******* D***." I turned to my lawyer and said "Oh shit, this is federal, huh?" He gravely nodded in reply. I honestly had no clue until that moment how much shit I was in. Anyway, it's certainly not a date worth celebrating. It is, however, currently worth reflecting on because it really only seems like that happened a few months ago. In time, this whole process will be reflected on the same way - over in the blink of an eye.
Anyway, I did get a new celly. Not a bad guy at all. It could always be worse, but not this round. He is (or was) the assistant credit smart teacher from the second attempt on the class. I had only one class with him as I was tossed in the hole two days before my second session. I thought he looked familiar, but I just couldn't place it until we got to BS'ing. He is getting a bad break in my opinion, but I genuinely feel he will come out on top and ride out his situation unscathed.
Alright, I'm done now, and as I know things - so will you.
3/26
Today they moved everyone to different cells. We got moved to a three-man cell which has a bunk over the small metal desk. While we won't have three people living here (thank fucking god!) it cuts the amount of "free space" (what an oxymoron!) in half. It is already causing a great deal of tension between my celly and I. I can't stand the childish ignorance he spews out of that broken faucet he calls his mouth, and it's only getting worse.
On Monday, the guard told three inmates, including myself, "pack up, you're going home" (ie back from whence we came - in my case, camp). They took two of the guys, but left me here. When I asked, the shift change had just come on, so no one knew what I was talking about. Tuesday, the guard from Monday asked why I was still there, I told him I had no clue. By the day's end, I had no answers and a growing concern about my status. Wednesday, I asked a different guard what was going on and he said that the captain (who has final say on where I end up) said he had to ask the SIS investigator a question before making his decision. The guard alluded to the SIS lady being out for the rest of the week, so naturally my hope of being freed from here starts next week. Tuesday the 30th will mark a whole month of being here, one week shy of balancing with the five weeks i was in camp. In a strange way with the exception of this week, the time has gone by relatively fast in here. I think it's partly because I spend almost 12 hours sleeping, but who knows?
The only upside to this information is it tells me which way the investigation is heading - I just wish it would hurry the fuck up.
3/30
Here I sit, four weeks to the day since my arrival, and yet again I am not being transferred back to camp. Yesterday, the camp administrator told me I should be leaving by Tuesday at the latest, yet here I sit. Difference between this week's and last week's news is the title and rank of the camp administrator, which implies the information should be true and accurate. After all, the camp is his domain and he answers only to one man, the warden. Whereas last week my info was from low-level CO, it was reckless to get my hopes up again, but it's hard not to considering the source.
My frustrations have continued to build since the arrival of my assailant to this floor. He talks about the incident freely, as if cheap shotting someone is some great feat to gloat about. Today I over-heard him (you have to yell out your cell door to each other to talk) saying how even he is surprised he hasn't been charged. He said the evidence against him was so overwhelming and accurate, he didn't even try to lie to the SIS lady. I'm skeptical about the last statement, but given what I do know, I am slightly inclined to believe the first statement. Which makes me question, Why is this taking so long? How can the BOP justify their actions these past two weeks? Why am I still being punished. Man, this shit just wears me out.
In other news, my celly suddenly got word today that he is being transferred out. A small ray of sunshine in an otherwise bleak month. It's hard to say how much longer I would have been able to tolerate his seemingly infinite ignorance. The downside is, of course, the gamble of dealing with an all new personality. It is inevitable that they will do so, only a matter of time. If I had my way, I wouldn't have a roomy. If I was forced to pick one, I'd choose a deaf mute who sleeps 23.5 hours a day. One can dream, can't he?
4/1
I wish I didn't write that last post until later that night or the next day, as yet again I have allowed myself to become a victim of their disinformation. I swear they are as bad as the Nazi party in their heyday at spreading false truths, and I'm so naïve, I keep buying into the bullshit. Let me explain: After sending the last letter expressing some optimism in my situation due to the information I received from a man of significant authority, I was informed by a simple, low-level counselor that the investigation has taken a big step backwards. She said I should expect to be in here another 2 - 4 weeks, as the captain wants the investigation to start all over. So again, I'm left completely in the dark, with no hope in sight.
Another revelation on the subject I learned today is that my assailant did lie to the SIS. He claims I pushed him. That is his reasoning for hitting me, despite what he tells everyone here in the hole. Obviously he is trying to cover up for his cowardly move because he knows people just won't put up with unprovoked attacks. So again, my innocence can only be proven from the witnesses. I thought that when I was originally told to pack out on the 22nd, three weeks into investigation, that surely the evidence in my favor was overwhelming - that's the only reason I could be going home so soon. Now it feels like I'm starting over, like I just walked into the hole for the first time. It's ironic considering it was one year ago to the day that I was first arrested -I had many questions and zero answers.
It's a shame I never got around to posting the letters I wrote during those few days I was locked up after being arrested. I do remember one detail quite vividly about my first court date on April 1st, 2009. That was my total shock at realizing I was facing the feds, not the state. I realized it as soon as the judge said "The United States Government vs. G******* D***." I turned to my lawyer and said "Oh shit, this is federal, huh?" He gravely nodded in reply. I honestly had no clue until that moment how much shit I was in. Anyway, it's certainly not a date worth celebrating. It is, however, currently worth reflecting on because it really only seems like that happened a few months ago. In time, this whole process will be reflected on the same way - over in the blink of an eye.
Anyway, I did get a new celly. Not a bad guy at all. It could always be worse, but not this round. He is (or was) the assistant credit smart teacher from the second attempt on the class. I had only one class with him as I was tossed in the hole two days before my second session. I thought he looked familiar, but I just couldn't place it until we got to BS'ing. He is getting a bad break in my opinion, but I genuinely feel he will come out on top and ride out his situation unscathed.
Alright, I'm done now, and as I know things - so will you.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
The Hole, pt 2
3-16
Ever wonder what a mental institute might sound like, day-to-day? Hell, I'd bet everything I got that this is damn close to it. I remember bitching about the nightly animal noises in J-1 in my first week or so of posts, but this place can't hold a candle to it. The constant wailing and guttural screams of inmates reverberate throughout the SHU. I don't know if it's out of sheer boredom or something more chemical, but they are ever vigilant in their screaming. It is really starting to get to me as I can't seem to tune it out. I am sure it's something akin to living in a zoo, which is also a great analogy to make. Weekly we get some random suit-and-tie sticking his fat face in our tiny door windows. I am surprised they don't serve them popcorn or hand out brochures outlining our histories, as these visits seem to be the entertainment of the unknown suit - yet most likely, they are here by contractual obligation.
What sucks even more is that this situation really brings out the pessimist in me. As I've said, I could be here ninety days before I find out my fate and up to another ninety days awaiting transfer, should that be the case. It's harder yet as I watch Spring arriving, taunting me with some of the nicest-looking weather in months. I can even see people from camp out making the most of their days, relishing every minute of it. Believe me, I was soaking it up prior to this, never wasting away a single day. There were so many things to focus myself on, I couldn't afford to ignore them for a moment. Life in a fucking shoebox is no life at all, just a fuckin' illusion...
Ever wonder what a mental institute might sound like, day-to-day? Hell, I'd bet everything I got that this is damn close to it. I remember bitching about the nightly animal noises in J-1 in my first week or so of posts, but this place can't hold a candle to it. The constant wailing and guttural screams of inmates reverberate throughout the SHU. I don't know if it's out of sheer boredom or something more chemical, but they are ever vigilant in their screaming. It is really starting to get to me as I can't seem to tune it out. I am sure it's something akin to living in a zoo, which is also a great analogy to make. Weekly we get some random suit-and-tie sticking his fat face in our tiny door windows. I am surprised they don't serve them popcorn or hand out brochures outlining our histories, as these visits seem to be the entertainment of the unknown suit - yet most likely, they are here by contractual obligation.
What sucks even more is that this situation really brings out the pessimist in me. As I've said, I could be here ninety days before I find out my fate and up to another ninety days awaiting transfer, should that be the case. It's harder yet as I watch Spring arriving, taunting me with some of the nicest-looking weather in months. I can even see people from camp out making the most of their days, relishing every minute of it. Believe me, I was soaking it up prior to this, never wasting away a single day. There were so many things to focus myself on, I couldn't afford to ignore them for a moment. Life in a fucking shoebox is no life at all, just a fuckin' illusion...
The Hole, pt 1
*Editor's note: many apologies for the delay in posts, all. I have been receiving hand-written letters, and have little time to transcribe. So today please enjoy a series of posts from the last few weeks.*
It may not come as much of a surprise to you that when I vent, I go all out. I will use "colourful" language to emphasize my extreme disgust of any particular situation I deem necessary, in order to fully convey my feelings on the matter.
Today I was pulled aside by a CO and strongly warned about my "colourful" conversation with my brother yesterday evening. He asked if I had a problem with staff, and I said yes. I don't appreciate the lip service I've been getting from other CO's since my arrival, I don't like the direct insults from these same CO's because the moment you stand up for yourself verbally, they will write you a 'shot' (infraction). Not to mention how they have an opinion on my current allegations - insinuating I am getting what I deserve, despite the fact that it is still under investigation. I barely got through speaking my rebuttal when he told me to shut up. He asked me if I knew my phone and mail correspondences are monitored and recorded and I said yes. Then he asked me how the specific staff members would feel if informed of my opinions. I replied that it was irrelevant seeing as how I was merely venting to a family member, adding that I have been nothing less than courteous and respectful to ALL STAFF, despite constant belittlement - a fact backed up by my absence of 'shots' for insolence toward staff. He didn't really acknowledge anything I said, but he wrapped up our conversation with a very simple message: keep it up, and we will drag our feet on this investigation and ship you outta here, no questions asked. I was shocked, but the message was clear: we got you by the short 'n' curlies, rock the boat and we will drown you.
Appalling, yes, but does it matter? No. Any staff's words, when weighed against an inmate's, is solid and infallible. They have absolute power, arguing against them is an exercise in futility. We really don't have any rights here, despite the illusion they project.
I said what I said because I am in a mental and emotional vice here and simply needed to vent and let it out. I didn't threaten any staff, security, or civility of this or any BOP facility, talk in code, or engage in any other forbidden endeavors. I thought I was exercising my 1st amendment rights to freely express my opinion, but as I am learning, I don't even get that dignity. Again, no point in arguing it. In fact, I concede from all matters of conflict within the BOP, as it is a battle I can not win.
So as not to perpetuate my miserable existence here any further, I will close with this statement: "The BOP staff here are top-notch, fair and balanced individuals, who command nothing but my utmost respect and reverence for their constant dedication to helping reform and guide us lost souls to a bright and fruitful future"
It may not come as much of a surprise to you that when I vent, I go all out. I will use "colourful" language to emphasize my extreme disgust of any particular situation I deem necessary, in order to fully convey my feelings on the matter.
Today I was pulled aside by a CO and strongly warned about my "colourful" conversation with my brother yesterday evening. He asked if I had a problem with staff, and I said yes. I don't appreciate the lip service I've been getting from other CO's since my arrival, I don't like the direct insults from these same CO's because the moment you stand up for yourself verbally, they will write you a 'shot' (infraction). Not to mention how they have an opinion on my current allegations - insinuating I am getting what I deserve, despite the fact that it is still under investigation. I barely got through speaking my rebuttal when he told me to shut up. He asked me if I knew my phone and mail correspondences are monitored and recorded and I said yes. Then he asked me how the specific staff members would feel if informed of my opinions. I replied that it was irrelevant seeing as how I was merely venting to a family member, adding that I have been nothing less than courteous and respectful to ALL STAFF, despite constant belittlement - a fact backed up by my absence of 'shots' for insolence toward staff. He didn't really acknowledge anything I said, but he wrapped up our conversation with a very simple message: keep it up, and we will drag our feet on this investigation and ship you outta here, no questions asked. I was shocked, but the message was clear: we got you by the short 'n' curlies, rock the boat and we will drown you.
Appalling, yes, but does it matter? No. Any staff's words, when weighed against an inmate's, is solid and infallible. They have absolute power, arguing against them is an exercise in futility. We really don't have any rights here, despite the illusion they project.
I said what I said because I am in a mental and emotional vice here and simply needed to vent and let it out. I didn't threaten any staff, security, or civility of this or any BOP facility, talk in code, or engage in any other forbidden endeavors. I thought I was exercising my 1st amendment rights to freely express my opinion, but as I am learning, I don't even get that dignity. Again, no point in arguing it. In fact, I concede from all matters of conflict within the BOP, as it is a battle I can not win.
So as not to perpetuate my miserable existence here any further, I will close with this statement: "The BOP staff here are top-notch, fair and balanced individuals, who command nothing but my utmost respect and reverence for their constant dedication to helping reform and guide us lost souls to a bright and fruitful future"
Friday, March 12, 2010
March 7, 2010
So today was sort of informative. I went to a SIS (Special Investigative Services) meeting with Lt. Payne in regards to my case. She wanted my statement, asked some other general info about me, and about my time at camp. She said she would also run the same line of questions with my assailant, put all the info together in her report to the UDC and the Lt (who will ultimately make their decision based on information gathered), then the Warden will make the final decision on the fate of Enos and myself.
The thing that is slowing up the investigation is that there are no witnesses stepping forward. Am I really that surprised? No. Even though everyone hates this Enos guy, no one wants to be a rat. Do I blame them? No. Would I do the same in their position? Yes. The ironic thing about what I just said is that with nearly every other incident in the past, snitches ave lined up to say who, what, when, where, why things went down. Irony, suck-my-balls. So now it's up to Enos to fess up, or by some miracle, some witness to step forward - both of which I now find highly unlikely to happen.
In summation; I have many questions and few answers. A real landmark day will be the day the Lt. reads me the report because the UDC meeting will be what my future holds. As it stands, the SIS lady said expect to be here at least another month.
So today was sort of informative. I went to a SIS (Special Investigative Services) meeting with Lt. Payne in regards to my case. She wanted my statement, asked some other general info about me, and about my time at camp. She said she would also run the same line of questions with my assailant, put all the info together in her report to the UDC and the Lt (who will ultimately make their decision based on information gathered), then the Warden will make the final decision on the fate of Enos and myself.
The thing that is slowing up the investigation is that there are no witnesses stepping forward. Am I really that surprised? No. Even though everyone hates this Enos guy, no one wants to be a rat. Do I blame them? No. Would I do the same in their position? Yes. The ironic thing about what I just said is that with nearly every other incident in the past, snitches ave lined up to say who, what, when, where, why things went down. Irony, suck-my-balls. So now it's up to Enos to fess up, or by some miracle, some witness to step forward - both of which I now find highly unlikely to happen.
In summation; I have many questions and few answers. A real landmark day will be the day the Lt. reads me the report because the UDC meeting will be what my future holds. As it stands, the SIS lady said expect to be here at least another month.
March 5, 2010
Last day to hear anything and I get nothing. I get to start my hope for answers all over again on Monday. This weekend is going to be very difficult on me mentally. This environment will dissect you. I can tell it will be hard to leave here feeling like my whole self. It will take an extremely strong mind to not let this place affect me, but I'm not sure how I'll fare. this will truly be my biggest test as far as my incarceration goes. It is just difficult to be positive when it feels like the deck is stacked against me. Combine that with the feelings of being helpless and trapped; I feel like I can't even stand-up for myself and fight my own battle.
Well, only thing I can thing to write on about is expressing my distaste for this system and how depressed it has made me, so I am going to stop. I will write again next week when/if I learn anything significant.
Last day to hear anything and I get nothing. I get to start my hope for answers all over again on Monday. This weekend is going to be very difficult on me mentally. This environment will dissect you. I can tell it will be hard to leave here feeling like my whole self. It will take an extremely strong mind to not let this place affect me, but I'm not sure how I'll fare. this will truly be my biggest test as far as my incarceration goes. It is just difficult to be positive when it feels like the deck is stacked against me. Combine that with the feelings of being helpless and trapped; I feel like I can't even stand-up for myself and fight my own battle.
Well, only thing I can thing to write on about is expressing my distaste for this system and how depressed it has made me, so I am going to stop. I will write again next week when/if I learn anything significant.
March 4, 2010
No news yet. The Lt. has been down to talk to the other inmates, but he had no news for me. He only offered one piece of advice, "Be patient, this will take awhile." My celly explained that the investigation must still be going on. This does nothing to put my mind at ease. There has to be at least 20 reports on what happened to me. There are always certain inmates attached to the C.O.'s ass like a parasite that can't live without its host. While I normally detest people like that, they are my only hope in getting the truth out to the appropriate people. This Enos guy has been manipulating and extorting other inmates for a long time. I obviously got the memo too late to make an informed decision on loaning him the stamps to begin with.
Now, the official charge against me is fighting with another inmate. Problem is, a fight constitutes two individuals coming to a physical altercation where both parties attempt to inflict bodily harm on one another. Thing of it is, I was attacked with a chicken shit cheap shot. Having said my peace and gave up on getting my stamps back. The last thing I remember is taking a full two steps backwards from Enos and turning my head down and to the right, staring at the rack full of pool balls. My jaw was fully exposed, like a big bull's-eye. That means he had to close the gap by stepping into his punch in order to bring me within his range. Again, that means I was attacked, not that I fought with him. If i had seen the punch coming, my body would have tensed up, especially my jaw and I doubt I would have actually been knocked out. The best thing going for me was that i kept a level head after coming to. I can remember the look in his eyes as he realized his mistake as he was blocking the exit to the pool room. The fire in his eyes burned holes into me preluding the punch were extinguished by eyes that pleaded with me to balance his mistake by hitting him back. If I did that, I would definitely be telling you guys I'm out of camp and that I fucked up. Like I said, I just need the truth to rise to the surface of this murky situation and I will be okay.
I am pleased with my composure during the confrontation, but I still wonder how much was composure and how much was pure shock. Still, I am grateful I didn't make any mistakes. Well, minus the innocent loaning of stamps. I just hope Friday yields some answers or hints as to what is happening. Otherwise it will be a weekend of torturing myself with "what-ifs" and "woulda, coulda, shouldas."
No news yet. The Lt. has been down to talk to the other inmates, but he had no news for me. He only offered one piece of advice, "Be patient, this will take awhile." My celly explained that the investigation must still be going on. This does nothing to put my mind at ease. There has to be at least 20 reports on what happened to me. There are always certain inmates attached to the C.O.'s ass like a parasite that can't live without its host. While I normally detest people like that, they are my only hope in getting the truth out to the appropriate people. This Enos guy has been manipulating and extorting other inmates for a long time. I obviously got the memo too late to make an informed decision on loaning him the stamps to begin with.
Now, the official charge against me is fighting with another inmate. Problem is, a fight constitutes two individuals coming to a physical altercation where both parties attempt to inflict bodily harm on one another. Thing of it is, I was attacked with a chicken shit cheap shot. Having said my peace and gave up on getting my stamps back. The last thing I remember is taking a full two steps backwards from Enos and turning my head down and to the right, staring at the rack full of pool balls. My jaw was fully exposed, like a big bull's-eye. That means he had to close the gap by stepping into his punch in order to bring me within his range. Again, that means I was attacked, not that I fought with him. If i had seen the punch coming, my body would have tensed up, especially my jaw and I doubt I would have actually been knocked out. The best thing going for me was that i kept a level head after coming to. I can remember the look in his eyes as he realized his mistake as he was blocking the exit to the pool room. The fire in his eyes burned holes into me preluding the punch were extinguished by eyes that pleaded with me to balance his mistake by hitting him back. If I did that, I would definitely be telling you guys I'm out of camp and that I fucked up. Like I said, I just need the truth to rise to the surface of this murky situation and I will be okay.
I am pleased with my composure during the confrontation, but I still wonder how much was composure and how much was pure shock. Still, I am grateful I didn't make any mistakes. Well, minus the innocent loaning of stamps. I just hope Friday yields some answers or hints as to what is happening. Otherwise it will be a weekend of torturing myself with "what-ifs" and "woulda, coulda, shouldas."
March 3, 2010
Sleep eludes me last night. I'm sharing an 8' x 10' cell with one other person. The steel frame bunks here are shorter than the mattress in length. I am taller than the bed length, which probably wouldn't bother me except an awkward cross bar restricts my feet from hanging over the edge and one by my head that I constantly smack against. We are only given a clean change of clothes on shower days. Hence, no way to make a makeshift pillow to achieve some level of comfort. This place makes J--1 seem like a walk in the park.
My celly tells me that first, the Lieutenant will come by to read me the charge and state the evidence to back-up the allegations against me. I should be able to offer my rebuttal at that time. The next step, I will be called into a UDC (Unit Disciplinary Committee) hearing. There, they will discuss in depth the findings of the initial investigation, hear my side, then decide what kind of recommendation to make the DHO (Disciplinary Hearing Officer). Ultimately, the DHO will make the final decision on this matter. This whole process can take months to complete, which is an extremely scary thought. Worst case: I am some how found guilty of fighting and sent to a low or medium facility with a loss of good time. Best case: I go back to camp, being found innocent of any wrong doing, but I still lose. I will lose my job, my prime bed space, and I will fail all three ACE classes. Due to not attending class. It all boils down to this: My fate rests in the witnesses coming forward to state what happened. Otherwise, it comes down to one inmates word vs. another, and I don't know how much clout I carry.
This is the last place I ever thought I would end up, and the most depressed I have ever been. U just don't know what to think anymore...
Sleep eludes me last night. I'm sharing an 8' x 10' cell with one other person. The steel frame bunks here are shorter than the mattress in length. I am taller than the bed length, which probably wouldn't bother me except an awkward cross bar restricts my feet from hanging over the edge and one by my head that I constantly smack against. We are only given a clean change of clothes on shower days. Hence, no way to make a makeshift pillow to achieve some level of comfort. This place makes J--1 seem like a walk in the park.
My celly tells me that first, the Lieutenant will come by to read me the charge and state the evidence to back-up the allegations against me. I should be able to offer my rebuttal at that time. The next step, I will be called into a UDC (Unit Disciplinary Committee) hearing. There, they will discuss in depth the findings of the initial investigation, hear my side, then decide what kind of recommendation to make the DHO (Disciplinary Hearing Officer). Ultimately, the DHO will make the final decision on this matter. This whole process can take months to complete, which is an extremely scary thought. Worst case: I am some how found guilty of fighting and sent to a low or medium facility with a loss of good time. Best case: I go back to camp, being found innocent of any wrong doing, but I still lose. I will lose my job, my prime bed space, and I will fail all three ACE classes. Due to not attending class. It all boils down to this: My fate rests in the witnesses coming forward to state what happened. Otherwise, it comes down to one inmates word vs. another, and I don't know how much clout I carry.
This is the last place I ever thought I would end up, and the most depressed I have ever been. U just don't know what to think anymore...
Please do not send any books or magazines to me or email me. You will understand why after reading the following posts. If you wish to write, please snail mail me at this new address:
Geoffrey Dodd #39244-086
Federal Correctional Institution
Unit: Z01-103UAD
PO Box 5000
Sheridan, OR 97378
2nd post:
March 2, 2010
So today was going like any other. It was a decent day, so I played a couple of hours of piccle ball before dinner. I came in for the 4pm census. After they count us, we are free to roam the building: watch tv, check email, play pool, etc. We can't leave the building until they call our unit (unit 5) to 'main line' (dinner).
So as usual, I go to the pool room to kill time. Right after I walked in, it was my turn to challenge the winner. As I began to rack the balls, I asked the losing opponent (my orderly boss) if I could get the three stamps back he asked to borrow weeks ago. He immediately became irate and got right in my face saying he isn't going to pay me and to fuck off. He kept yelling with his Hawaiian accent, "Whadda gon' do brah? Do something, brah!" I said, "over three stamps? I'm not fucking stupid" and I turned my attention back to the pool table. Big mistake. I woke up on the floor with the left side of my face tingling and my ears ringing. I tried to stand up but couldn't keep my balance and fell back down. The assailant, a hot-head nearly toothless douche bag Hawaiian, named Enos, is now standing over me yelling inaudibly. I attempted to stand again, this time using the table to brace myself and get my legs under me, and made my way to the door. Enos cut me off and was blocking my exit with his body. He kept saying, "Where ya goin, brah? Hit me brah." I believe it was then he realized the gravity of his mistake and was trying to bait me into turning his mindless assault into a fight, that we we both get punished. Instead I managed to push past him into the commons area. That's when it all finally sank in...I was just knocked out, over three stamps!!
I went up to my cube, put ice on my jaw and popped two aspirin. Before I knew it, four different Hawaiians came by to check on me. They each said to turn his ass in - fuck the politics of it all. "He is bad news and is making the other Hawaiians look bad with his actions." They reminded me that this attack will get him kicked out of camp permanently. All this from four of his people, whom I had never talked to nor even seen until today. I just wanted to finish icing my face and eat dinner and concluded I would deal with this after eating. Unfortunately, that thought was interrupted by a page to the admin building. I was lightly questioned, taken to medical, then asked to wait in the auditorium.
As I waited, I never could have envisioned what happened net. I was handcuffed and driven over to the S.H.U. (Special Housing Unit) or the hole as it is often called by inmates. I am still shocked at this action against me. I get attacked and now I'm being fucking punished. The SHU is 24 hour lock down, all controlled movement (meaning you never leave your cell without handcuffs), only three showers per week, fed meals in the cell, and one phone call per week (from inside the cell).
I am to understand I could be here up to 90 days while the BOP investigates and makes a decision. My only hope is that people step forward to report what they saw.
Geoffrey Dodd #39244-086
Federal Correctional Institution
Unit: Z01-103UAD
PO Box 5000
Sheridan, OR 97378
2nd post:
March 2, 2010
So today was going like any other. It was a decent day, so I played a couple of hours of piccle ball before dinner. I came in for the 4pm census. After they count us, we are free to roam the building: watch tv, check email, play pool, etc. We can't leave the building until they call our unit (unit 5) to 'main line' (dinner).
So as usual, I go to the pool room to kill time. Right after I walked in, it was my turn to challenge the winner. As I began to rack the balls, I asked the losing opponent (my orderly boss) if I could get the three stamps back he asked to borrow weeks ago. He immediately became irate and got right in my face saying he isn't going to pay me and to fuck off. He kept yelling with his Hawaiian accent, "Whadda gon' do brah? Do something, brah!" I said, "over three stamps? I'm not fucking stupid" and I turned my attention back to the pool table. Big mistake. I woke up on the floor with the left side of my face tingling and my ears ringing. I tried to stand up but couldn't keep my balance and fell back down. The assailant, a hot-head nearly toothless douche bag Hawaiian, named Enos, is now standing over me yelling inaudibly. I attempted to stand again, this time using the table to brace myself and get my legs under me, and made my way to the door. Enos cut me off and was blocking my exit with his body. He kept saying, "Where ya goin, brah? Hit me brah." I believe it was then he realized the gravity of his mistake and was trying to bait me into turning his mindless assault into a fight, that we we both get punished. Instead I managed to push past him into the commons area. That's when it all finally sank in...I was just knocked out, over three stamps!!
I went up to my cube, put ice on my jaw and popped two aspirin. Before I knew it, four different Hawaiians came by to check on me. They each said to turn his ass in - fuck the politics of it all. "He is bad news and is making the other Hawaiians look bad with his actions." They reminded me that this attack will get him kicked out of camp permanently. All this from four of his people, whom I had never talked to nor even seen until today. I just wanted to finish icing my face and eat dinner and concluded I would deal with this after eating. Unfortunately, that thought was interrupted by a page to the admin building. I was lightly questioned, taken to medical, then asked to wait in the auditorium.
As I waited, I never could have envisioned what happened net. I was handcuffed and driven over to the S.H.U. (Special Housing Unit) or the hole as it is often called by inmates. I am still shocked at this action against me. I get attacked and now I'm being fucking punished. The SHU is 24 hour lock down, all controlled movement (meaning you never leave your cell without handcuffs), only three showers per week, fed meals in the cell, and one phone call per week (from inside the cell).
I am to understand I could be here up to 90 days while the BOP investigates and makes a decision. My only hope is that people step forward to report what they saw.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Wanna send me stuff?
This is the Western Union Quick Collect form with all the relevant information on how to put money on my books.
To send me books, magazines, or letters, use this address.
Geoffrey Dodd 39244-086
Federal Prison Camp
PO BOX 6000
Sheridan, OR 97378
If you want to mail books, send no more than three at a time, in the smallest box possible. Mark the package 'BOP APPROVED BOOKS' if you are sending them in yourself. Otherwise, you can have any online book store send them directly to me at the above address. Letters can be sent there too, but email is fine by me. If you were to send magazines, same thing applies, just mark them 'BOP APPROVED MAGAZINES', send no more than 4 at a time, in a large envelope only, and no nudey stuff. Not that I don't want them, just that I can't have them. Also, no MMA or fighting magazines. They even took away SPIKE TV so we couldn't watch the UFC fights...
To send me books, magazines, or letters, use this address.
Geoffrey Dodd 39244-086
Federal Prison Camp
PO BOX 6000
Sheridan, OR 97378
If you want to mail books, send no more than three at a time, in the smallest box possible. Mark the package 'BOP APPROVED BOOKS' if you are sending them in yourself. Otherwise, you can have any online book store send them directly to me at the above address. Letters can be sent there too, but email is fine by me. If you were to send magazines, same thing applies, just mark them 'BOP APPROVED MAGAZINES', send no more than 4 at a time, in a large envelope only, and no nudey stuff. Not that I don't want them, just that I can't have them. Also, no MMA or fighting magazines. They even took away SPIKE TV so we couldn't watch the UFC fights...
2/26/10
Classes this week went well. I still feel behind in Ancient Civilizations because the teacher covers a different civilization every week. Otherwise, it is a great class, and I am glad I made it in. The History of WWII is simple to jump into late. It too is a great class and we get to watch video, every other week, that accompany the teacher's lecture.
I just wish the Credit Smart was as exciting as it once felt to me. The new teacher is great, but his background is in business finance and there is a separate ACE class for that topic, but I feel like he is pushing that aspect too hard too fast in CS. The original teacher was going to touch on this topic at the end of the ten weeks, talking about how credit effects your ability/inability to get a loan to start a business and some basics on running a business. It was supposed to be a nice segue for those that wanted to attend the business class, which I do want to take next round.
This new teacher is talking to us in terms and abbreviations that make it hard to keep up; as if he thinks we all have already been through business class either here or elsewhere. Myself and a few other voiced our opinions on this to him, and he took it in stride. He promised the focus will go back to the credit reports; reading, understanding, and fixing them. To play devils advocate, I know that the BOP staff quickly put this class back together, and stuck this teacher with the job knowing his background is solely in business. The teacher had 8 days to come up with an all new curriculum and only has 7 more weeks to help us achieve the goals of this class. He is a nice guy who means well and only did this because this Credit Smart class is the largest ACE class that this camp has ever had (70+ people signed up) and didn't want to leave his fellow inmates hangin.
As far as everything else, not much has happened... which is good. I would like to stay in the patterns I have established (sleeping, eating, exercising, studying, etc). While I know that they are easily broken due to the inept BOP staff here, I will relish them while I can.
I just wish the Credit Smart was as exciting as it once felt to me. The new teacher is great, but his background is in business finance and there is a separate ACE class for that topic, but I feel like he is pushing that aspect too hard too fast in CS. The original teacher was going to touch on this topic at the end of the ten weeks, talking about how credit effects your ability/inability to get a loan to start a business and some basics on running a business. It was supposed to be a nice segue for those that wanted to attend the business class, which I do want to take next round.
This new teacher is talking to us in terms and abbreviations that make it hard to keep up; as if he thinks we all have already been through business class either here or elsewhere. Myself and a few other voiced our opinions on this to him, and he took it in stride. He promised the focus will go back to the credit reports; reading, understanding, and fixing them. To play devils advocate, I know that the BOP staff quickly put this class back together, and stuck this teacher with the job knowing his background is solely in business. The teacher had 8 days to come up with an all new curriculum and only has 7 more weeks to help us achieve the goals of this class. He is a nice guy who means well and only did this because this Credit Smart class is the largest ACE class that this camp has ever had (70+ people signed up) and didn't want to leave his fellow inmates hangin.
As far as everything else, not much has happened... which is good. I would like to stay in the patterns I have established (sleeping, eating, exercising, studying, etc). While I know that they are easily broken due to the inept BOP staff here, I will relish them while I can.
Friday, February 26, 2010
2/23/10 - Classroom Drama
Okay, this getting out of control. After all my leg-work getting put into History of WWII to take the place of a canceled Credit Smart class, I find out that Credit Smart is back on. WTF!? Now I am torn between taking a class I wanted originally - or telling the teacher, thanks for all your finagling, but no thanks. After all, he allowed me to test into the class after it had already started, a class in which I never signed up for, and won't be taught again due to his nearing release date. My only hope is to see if I can switch to the Thursday Credit Smart class, which is rumored to be full. It also won't be the original teacher or his teacher's aid. In fact, class resumes tonight and the teacher is still TBD... Wow, really? Are they going to pull names out of a fucking hat here? I don't know what the deal is, but I got 4 hours to figure it out. I suppose I will just go to HWWII tonight, History of Ancient Civilizations tomorrow and just walk into Thursdays CS class and see if I get a seat. More on all that at the end of this week. FYI, I pretested a 73% percent on the HWWII but only scored a pathetic 30% on the HAC. I have a lot of studying to do in the HAC class.
As for other news, they mounted these huge flood lights at the corners of the Unit 5 & 6 buildings. It just so happens that the lights on the Unit 6 building shine directly into our fucking windows at night. It was so bright inside, I could read my book easily and without the usual book light. After waking up around 3am, I couldn't fall asleep for the rest of the night. I am bushed, and tonight's HWWII class is supposed to have a movie, I better not fall asleep.
Otherwise, things are moving along. A couple people have yet to respond to my request for signing up the inmate email system, so check your in-boxes for an email sent within the last two weeks, it will hyperlink you to were you need to go. A couple of those same people haven't been answering my phone calls either. FYI, it says 'private number' or 'unavailable number' on your caller ID. As soon as you pick it up, an automated message tells you it's a federal inmate calling and tells you my name. So answer your damn phones every once and a while and see if it's me.
As for other news, they mounted these huge flood lights at the corners of the Unit 5 & 6 buildings. It just so happens that the lights on the Unit 6 building shine directly into our fucking windows at night. It was so bright inside, I could read my book easily and without the usual book light. After waking up around 3am, I couldn't fall asleep for the rest of the night. I am bushed, and tonight's HWWII class is supposed to have a movie, I better not fall asleep.
Otherwise, things are moving along. A couple people have yet to respond to my request for signing up the inmate email system, so check your in-boxes for an email sent within the last two weeks, it will hyperlink you to were you need to go. A couple of those same people haven't been answering my phone calls either. FYI, it says 'private number' or 'unavailable number' on your caller ID. As soon as you pick it up, an automated message tells you it's a federal inmate calling and tells you my name. So answer your damn phones every once and a while and see if it's me.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Bureaucratic Bullshit
So yesterday I had my team meeting, but as usual, I was told it wasn't until March 16th, so I was late to it. I could have been written up for being tardy, but I got a stern warning instead. I learned the BOP plans on releasing me to Montana because that is where my case is from. I was in shock. I have had a residence in Seattle for 10 years, did my pre-trial there, and want to go back there to continue on with my life. So we (my councilor and I) started the lengthy paperwork process to get that changed to Seattle. Additionally, we got the ball rolling on getting my Social Security Card sent in and my Birth Certificate sent in. It's all kinda stupid as I know I have these things packed away, but the BOP requires you get them sent in so you can leave with them. Now I know why the running joke for the acronym BOP is not Bureau Of Prisons, but Backwards On Purpose.
Last night was supposed to be the second Credit Smart Class. At noon, we got our ID's photo copied to send in with the Credit Report Requests so I thought things were normal. That is, until I went to class at night and discovered class was cancelled. After asking around, I learned the BOP stepped on the teacher's toes about something, and he quit. He was teaching four Credit Smart classes and was also a GED tutor. I understand his frustrations with the stifling system and hold no grudge against him for his decision, but I am crushed none the less. I immediately asked my Ancient Civilizations teacher if I could join his History of WWII class as well, due to the closing of the Credit Smart class. He said yes, no problem. So I will take my first HoAC tonight and my first HWWII next Tuesday. I will be one week behind in HoAC and two weeks behind HWWII, but I can catch up fairly easily. I want to maintain two classes per quarter if and when possible.
Otherwise, I was medically cleared to work today - which is fine considering I already locked in a job. At 1:30, I and many others have some mystery meeting to attend to, yet none of us know why. Even the experienced inmates don't have any clue as to why so many are being called into the auditorium today. I guess I will find out soon enough.
I will post on that tomorrow.
Last night was supposed to be the second Credit Smart Class. At noon, we got our ID's photo copied to send in with the Credit Report Requests so I thought things were normal. That is, until I went to class at night and discovered class was cancelled. After asking around, I learned the BOP stepped on the teacher's toes about something, and he quit. He was teaching four Credit Smart classes and was also a GED tutor. I understand his frustrations with the stifling system and hold no grudge against him for his decision, but I am crushed none the less. I immediately asked my Ancient Civilizations teacher if I could join his History of WWII class as well, due to the closing of the Credit Smart class. He said yes, no problem. So I will take my first HoAC tonight and my first HWWII next Tuesday. I will be one week behind in HoAC and two weeks behind HWWII, but I can catch up fairly easily. I want to maintain two classes per quarter if and when possible.
Otherwise, I was medically cleared to work today - which is fine considering I already locked in a job. At 1:30, I and many others have some mystery meeting to attend to, yet none of us know why. Even the experienced inmates don't have any clue as to why so many are being called into the auditorium today. I guess I will find out soon enough.
I will post on that tomorrow.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
e-mail alerts: a message from your editor
If you want to know when Geoff texts you and you don't want to log in to CorrLinks to check it every day, try this...
- Log into Corrlinks
- Go to Account Management
- Go to Manage Inmate List
- Click Email Alert Box
This will make the Corrlinks system send you a notice to your regular email address saying you have a message waiting. This will be better than logging in each time to Corrlinks just to see if you have an email from me.
- Log into Corrlinks
- Go to Account Management
- Go to Manage Inmate List
- Click Email Alert Box
This will make the Corrlinks system send you a notice to your regular email address saying you have a message waiting. This will be better than logging in each time to Corrlinks just to see if you have an email from me.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
New Job
So, today my bunky comes running up to me in the rec. yard with a panicked look upon his face. As I began to question his distraught appearance, he interrupted me to say, 'Thank God I found you. You need to follow me quickly.' I again attempted to ask what was going on, 'Did I miss a page to the admin building? Did something happen to my property? WTF is going on?!?' He again repeated his instruction to follow him, so I did staying right on his heels. We entered our building, and made a mad dash up the stairs to the councilor office. Now I'm thinking, oh shit, something bad is going to happen. When he ushered me in, there was another inmate I didn't recognize and the councilor. The door shut behind me and I stood still not knowing what was going on. The inmate looked at me and said, 'Dodd, I heard you were looking for a job to keep you out of the kitchen.' 'We'll, yeah, actually I am. What does this job entail?' With a wink, he replied, 'Next to nothing.'
He told me about a weekend gig mopping and sweeping the bathroom, stocking TP, soap, and paper towels. I mop and sweep once a day, Sat. & Sun. at a time of my choosing and keep an eye on the supplies throughout the rest of the day. Takes no more than 45 min. to do the labor part of my job, and best of all it keeps me from doing the BS kitchen duty (which is 3-4 days a week for 3-4 hours a day). Now, at .35/hour no matter what job I get, I want to do as little as possible and for it to not interfere with my other activities. I couldn't be happier with how this worked out. Councilor said as soon as I am medically cleared, the job is all mine.
My Credit Smart class starts tomorrow. I am super stoked. A couple of days ago, I ran into the teacher of that class and got to pick his brain while we waited in chow line. Then by some stroke of luck, he sat at my table and we got to continue the Q&A. Talking to him made me even more excited to get started on this class.
I will keep ya'll up to date on the progress of that.
He told me about a weekend gig mopping and sweeping the bathroom, stocking TP, soap, and paper towels. I mop and sweep once a day, Sat. & Sun. at a time of my choosing and keep an eye on the supplies throughout the rest of the day. Takes no more than 45 min. to do the labor part of my job, and best of all it keeps me from doing the BS kitchen duty (which is 3-4 days a week for 3-4 hours a day). Now, at .35/hour no matter what job I get, I want to do as little as possible and for it to not interfere with my other activities. I couldn't be happier with how this worked out. Councilor said as soon as I am medically cleared, the job is all mine.
My Credit Smart class starts tomorrow. I am super stoked. A couple of days ago, I ran into the teacher of that class and got to pick his brain while we waited in chow line. Then by some stroke of luck, he sat at my table and we got to continue the Q&A. Talking to him made me even more excited to get started on this class.
I will keep ya'll up to date on the progress of that.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Classes, etc
The only thing of interest today is I saw the list for the ACE classes. I got into my Credit Smart class I wanted. Good thing too, roughly 75 people signed up for it, but only the first 35 got in this quarter. That's a start in the right direction for me, and I can't wait to get right to it. Like I said the other day, next quarter I am going to try and get into HVAC and I heard about a landscape architecture class that will be initiated next quarter or the one after that.
Otherwise, this place is buzzing with anticipation and preparation for the Super Bowl. Sounds like we get a f'ing sack lunch tomorrow... shitty thing is I don't have any food stuffs from commissary to cook myself something descent. Oh well, everything will be back to normal on Monday.
Otherwise, this place is buzzing with anticipation and preparation for the Super Bowl. Sounds like we get a f'ing sack lunch tomorrow... shitty thing is I don't have any food stuffs from commissary to cook myself something descent. Oh well, everything will be back to normal on Monday.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Classes, Pt. 2
Luckily a friend came to tell me this morning I had to be at our A&O meeting at 8am. The meeting is redundant shit spouting off rules and regulations, by multiple people, but always regurgitating the same information. We got let out just in time to rush over, (but not too fast, because there is no running on campus) to the ACE registration line. First come, first serve I was told. Although, I was also told you could sign up last and still get in due to your release date. No one really seems to know all information about one thing, only half... I got in and signed up for the Credit Smart class as planned. I think next quarter, if I get into Credit Smart this round, I will look into the HVAC classes. (HVAC = Heating, Ventilation, Air Conditioning) Pretty handy shit to know and they are talking about integrating a new solar panel installation course to it soon, which would be also very valuable. After lunch, I asked about the possibility of getting into my computer class this round and building trades, but it still looks bleak. Otherwise, I reconfirmed that I can take a fitness class taught by my cubey and receive an ACE credit for it. I can simply sit in on those classes anytime I want, which I will do for now, but I might as well get a credit for it too. The registration for that class isn't until March.
That's it. Back to focusing on keeping myself occupied and healthy.
That's it. Back to focusing on keeping myself occupied and healthy.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Classes
I found out that it is highly unlikely I will get into the vocational classes I initially signed up for, but I am still awaiting for an official word. However, I did discover that ACE class registration begins tomorrow. (ACE means Adults Continuing Education). They are not considered equivalent to college credits, but they do show your eventual Parole Officer, and your half-way house, that you didn't just sit on your ass during your incarceration. That will open the door to highly sought after half-way houses because you are already showing improvement and independence during incarceration. The class I signed up for is called Credit Smart. It is a class that teaches you how to comprehend and improve your credit score. They also let you pull your current report and help design a potential plan to make necessary improvements. The class is 10 weeks long, meeting once a week for 2 hours. While there is no guarantee that I will get into this class, but at least I still know I have a chance to get into something this quarter. If I don't, I will definitely get in the next round based on my release date.
Anyway, that is all I have to report at this time. Classes start Monday so I will know very soon if I got in this round.
Anyway, that is all I have to report at this time. Classes start Monday so I will know very soon if I got in this round.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Shakedown!
Shake down! So as we waiting in line at the cafeteria for dinner, an unusual number of inmates are pouring out of my building. Within minutes we hear that four C.O.s kicked everyone out of our building (Building 5). When we finished dinner, many of us were lined up around the cafeteria trying to see if we could catch a glimpse of what they were up to in there. We were blindsided by another C.O. who ran us off and told us to go to the rec. yard (so we couldn't see anything). I am freezing my ass off from the chill of the Oregon night as I didn't dress to be out in that weather for more than a few minutes. It took these assholes nearly 2 hours to complete their search of our homes. Finally, tentatively, we walked back in to inspect the damage. It wasn't bad, not too much was strewn about, but it was shitty to think how bad they could have tossed the place. This experience brought on stories of other incidents that left the building in total chaos. The C.O.s are reported to smash food containers on the floor, spilling the contents everywhere, then emptying your locker contents on the floor, and finally, dumping your bed and clothes into the mix. They said a real shakedown will take hours to clean up from, not the 15 minutes this took to clean up. It was obvious they were after something specific: Drugs, Tobacco, or a cell phone. Luckily, all my unit is older gents who just want to do their time without any trouble - quiet and relaxed. No one was reported to be cited with anything but tomorrow will yield more answers.
You know you want to come visit....
If you want to visit me in here, please go to BOP.gov and click on the 'visitor' link or 'visitor form'. You should be able to print out a background authorization form. Fill it out and include a photocopy of your drivers license.
Send To:
Camp Counselors
P.O.Box 8000
Sheridan, OR 97378
My information is:
Geoffrey Dodd 39244-086
You will probably have to fill in who you intend on visiting.
Here's the visiting regulations for Sheridan:
http://www.bop.gov/locations/institutions/she/index.jsp
download the pdf located in the bottom right-hand corner.
Send To:
Camp Counselors
P.O.Box 8000
Sheridan, OR 97378
My information is:
Geoffrey Dodd 39244-086
You will probably have to fill in who you intend on visiting.
Here's the visiting regulations for Sheridan:
http://www.bop.gov/locations/institutions/she/index.jsp
download the pdf located in the bottom right-hand corner.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Camp Daze
1/28/10
I woke up today and walked three miles with a buddy that transferred here with me. When I got back for census count, our wing was targeted by a higher up C.O. The search was focused on one cube a few down from me. I stared in awe as he literally ripped the locker apart, dumping out all the inmate's possessions on the floor. They were on a mission to find something.... contraband.
Now this term is pretty self explanatory. However, in the BOP, nothing is as simple as it seems. For them, that word encompasses the obvious, but includes a variety of food as well. Really? Food? Having more than two pieces of fruit is a no-no. Taking food from the cafeteria is a no-no. Making your own food is a no-no.
So this guy had something like 4 loaves of bread, 6 pieces of fruit, a 5 gal. bucket of ice and a bunch of home made yogurt. Bam, they tossed him in the hole - 23 hours of lockdown and he is two months from being released. He will probably do all his remaining time in the hole. Here is some of the reasoning behind the BOP ban on these items or quantity of items. Fruit can be made into booze. Okay, if you got more than 10 pieces, maybe you should be written up. Bread, they are worried somehow you can use the yeast to make a beer-like beverage, but you actually need the yeast, not cooked bread, so that one confuses me as to why it is such a big deal. The yogurt is an usual one to me. I guess people here are making it, as it is a great source of protein. They don't sell it at commissary. I heard the C.O. say during the raid, 'This stuff is all the rage right now.' Okay, they sell ice cream which has to be eaten right away as we don't get personal fridges or anyway to store it, so sell friggin' yogurt and be done with it. The food-from-the-cafeteria rule sucks too because maybe you want the food, but not at the hour they tell you to eat it. But NO, that's not an excuse. You eat what they tell you when they tell you or else buy your meals at commissary to eat at your leisure.
Either way, I am not a food glutton and have no need to worry about such problems. I eat what and when they say, and only sparingly order food from commissary. I am here for such a relatively short amount of time, I feel no need to endeavor into such behavior that could land me in the hole. FUCK THAT NOISE.
After the shake-down I played pool. Left to eat dinner at 5pm, and played again until it closed at 10pm. Today I learned that the cloth was really ripped up and had been for nearly two years, and not two weeks ago it got re-felted. Even if I didn't get into any classes, that room alone would help me pass an immeasurable amount of time here. Anyway, I have been up since 6am to get my clothes issued and it's now approaching midnight. I am bushed.
I woke up today and walked three miles with a buddy that transferred here with me. When I got back for census count, our wing was targeted by a higher up C.O. The search was focused on one cube a few down from me. I stared in awe as he literally ripped the locker apart, dumping out all the inmate's possessions on the floor. They were on a mission to find something.... contraband.
Now this term is pretty self explanatory. However, in the BOP, nothing is as simple as it seems. For them, that word encompasses the obvious, but includes a variety of food as well. Really? Food? Having more than two pieces of fruit is a no-no. Taking food from the cafeteria is a no-no. Making your own food is a no-no.
So this guy had something like 4 loaves of bread, 6 pieces of fruit, a 5 gal. bucket of ice and a bunch of home made yogurt. Bam, they tossed him in the hole - 23 hours of lockdown and he is two months from being released. He will probably do all his remaining time in the hole. Here is some of the reasoning behind the BOP ban on these items or quantity of items. Fruit can be made into booze. Okay, if you got more than 10 pieces, maybe you should be written up. Bread, they are worried somehow you can use the yeast to make a beer-like beverage, but you actually need the yeast, not cooked bread, so that one confuses me as to why it is such a big deal. The yogurt is an usual one to me. I guess people here are making it, as it is a great source of protein. They don't sell it at commissary. I heard the C.O. say during the raid, 'This stuff is all the rage right now.' Okay, they sell ice cream which has to be eaten right away as we don't get personal fridges or anyway to store it, so sell friggin' yogurt and be done with it. The food-from-the-cafeteria rule sucks too because maybe you want the food, but not at the hour they tell you to eat it. But NO, that's not an excuse. You eat what they tell you when they tell you or else buy your meals at commissary to eat at your leisure.
Either way, I am not a food glutton and have no need to worry about such problems. I eat what and when they say, and only sparingly order food from commissary. I am here for such a relatively short amount of time, I feel no need to endeavor into such behavior that could land me in the hole. FUCK THAT NOISE.
After the shake-down I played pool. Left to eat dinner at 5pm, and played again until it closed at 10pm. Today I learned that the cloth was really ripped up and had been for nearly two years, and not two weeks ago it got re-felted. Even if I didn't get into any classes, that room alone would help me pass an immeasurable amount of time here. Anyway, I have been up since 6am to get my clothes issued and it's now approaching midnight. I am bushed.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Welcome to Camp.
1/27/10
*Note from the Editor: hey all, sorry about the utterly irritating back-dating that's going on in the blog - it took us a week or so to get connected and get it all up and running...I'll try to post the end of January postings by the 30th or 1st, there might be a glut of posts in the next few days. Cheers, and thanks for being patient*
Today I found the two programs I was sort of looking for. I say that because everything I have been told about this place has not been 100% accurate. I found the computer courses: Word, Excel, Powerpoint, Publisher, and Google Sketch. The first three I know well, and should have no problems there. The other two are the courses I am really after. The second class is called Building Trades, a 360 hour program lasting three months. It teaches you all aspects of basic construction, on paper. After all, we are felons and are not to be trusted with power tools. We get to build a scale model house, to code, and that part I am stoked on. Supposedly, since my release is sooner than most peoples, I get on these sign up lists faster. Although, I hear that is not always the case. Either way, I on the list and all signed up. Mind you, there is a list or a line for EVERYTHING here. I have also learned I am not here long enough to enroll in all of the college courses, only a few. I am still trying to learn which ones I can sign up for, then decide which course(s) will benefit me the most.
I am now going to take the time to highlight some of Sheridise's amenities. We have a gravel track in which 4 times around is .97 mile, so close enough. Along that track is pit stops with pull up bars and crunch aids. We also have: 2 bocce fields, 2 horse shoe pits, baseball field, volleyball sand pit, 2 hand ball courts, basketball court combo pickle ball court, a dilapidated pool table- but I still whooped ass on it, exercise bikes, medicine balls, stair-steppers, jump ropes, crunch bench, and pull up bars. That is all outside stuff. There is also an indoor exercise room with a bunch of elipticals, treadmills, and exercise bikes. One of the guys in my cube is a fitness instructor. He said if I sign up for the class, I get some sort of credit that looks good for when I am trying to find a half way house to move into. Some require these and other credits, some don't. I will sign up for that class, it starts in two weeks. Its all cardio based on Tuesday and Thursday, then Monday, Wednesday, Friday is strength; abs and medicine ball routines. Should be tough, but good.
There is one other thing that is noticeable immediately here. Cats.... everywhere. They are all feral, and are being fed by inmates. It sucks because all we get is processed food, and it is horrible for them, but there is enough sustanence to keep 'em breeding. Some of them are really cute, but most are really mangy.
Otherwise, things are moving along. There are still plenty of things I have yet to learn about, but it will come with time.
*Note from the Editor: hey all, sorry about the utterly irritating back-dating that's going on in the blog - it took us a week or so to get connected and get it all up and running...I'll try to post the end of January postings by the 30th or 1st, there might be a glut of posts in the next few days. Cheers, and thanks for being patient*
Today I found the two programs I was sort of looking for. I say that because everything I have been told about this place has not been 100% accurate. I found the computer courses: Word, Excel, Powerpoint, Publisher, and Google Sketch. The first three I know well, and should have no problems there. The other two are the courses I am really after. The second class is called Building Trades, a 360 hour program lasting three months. It teaches you all aspects of basic construction, on paper. After all, we are felons and are not to be trusted with power tools. We get to build a scale model house, to code, and that part I am stoked on. Supposedly, since my release is sooner than most peoples, I get on these sign up lists faster. Although, I hear that is not always the case. Either way, I on the list and all signed up. Mind you, there is a list or a line for EVERYTHING here. I have also learned I am not here long enough to enroll in all of the college courses, only a few. I am still trying to learn which ones I can sign up for, then decide which course(s) will benefit me the most.
I am now going to take the time to highlight some of Sheridise's amenities. We have a gravel track in which 4 times around is .97 mile, so close enough. Along that track is pit stops with pull up bars and crunch aids. We also have: 2 bocce fields, 2 horse shoe pits, baseball field, volleyball sand pit, 2 hand ball courts, basketball court combo pickle ball court, a dilapidated pool table- but I still whooped ass on it, exercise bikes, medicine balls, stair-steppers, jump ropes, crunch bench, and pull up bars. That is all outside stuff. There is also an indoor exercise room with a bunch of elipticals, treadmills, and exercise bikes. One of the guys in my cube is a fitness instructor. He said if I sign up for the class, I get some sort of credit that looks good for when I am trying to find a half way house to move into. Some require these and other credits, some don't. I will sign up for that class, it starts in two weeks. Its all cardio based on Tuesday and Thursday, then Monday, Wednesday, Friday is strength; abs and medicine ball routines. Should be tough, but good.
There is one other thing that is noticeable immediately here. Cats.... everywhere. They are all feral, and are being fed by inmates. It sucks because all we get is processed food, and it is horrible for them, but there is enough sustanence to keep 'em breeding. Some of them are really cute, but most are really mangy.
Otherwise, things are moving along. There are still plenty of things I have yet to learn about, but it will come with time.
Finally to Camp
01/26/10
Wow, this place is fucking weird. The camp facilities look like a college campus with on site dorms, not a prison. The vibe here is rather military. Apparently, the new rules established not two days ago are the reason for that feeling. FML! What great timing I have... This place was very laid back just before these new policies went into effect.
My cube is shared with three other people: Sam, Jazz, and Doc.- Doc is my bunky. The unit is separated into cubes by 4' tall divider walls. Each cube consists of 2 bunk beds, 8 cubes to a wing, 4 wings to a housing unit, 2 floors to each unit, and 2 housing units total. The max capacity of this place is 508, staffed by 9 people. This is the biggest camp on the west coast, and the entire footprint of Sheridan is 88 acres (biggest on the west coast), 80 of which is farmed in the spring through the summer. Who gets to farm it? We do. All the food is used here, at least it's fresh. After winter, this facility boasts a huge salad bar during lunch and dinner. Apparently, no other facility does this. You can take some of the veggies back, but only small amounts (personal use). If you are caught with more than 'personal use' you can be punished for stealing. A lot of infractions will get you into the SHU - special housing unit aka the hole. Not a place you want to be.
Anyway, I made it. A new kid at school all over again. As soon as the dust settles, I will get my mailing address posted.
Wow, this place is fucking weird. The camp facilities look like a college campus with on site dorms, not a prison. The vibe here is rather military. Apparently, the new rules established not two days ago are the reason for that feeling. FML! What great timing I have... This place was very laid back just before these new policies went into effect.
My cube is shared with three other people: Sam, Jazz, and Doc.- Doc is my bunky. The unit is separated into cubes by 4' tall divider walls. Each cube consists of 2 bunk beds, 8 cubes to a wing, 4 wings to a housing unit, 2 floors to each unit, and 2 housing units total. The max capacity of this place is 508, staffed by 9 people. This is the biggest camp on the west coast, and the entire footprint of Sheridan is 88 acres (biggest on the west coast), 80 of which is farmed in the spring through the summer. Who gets to farm it? We do. All the food is used here, at least it's fresh. After winter, this facility boasts a huge salad bar during lunch and dinner. Apparently, no other facility does this. You can take some of the veggies back, but only small amounts (personal use). If you are caught with more than 'personal use' you can be punished for stealing. A lot of infractions will get you into the SHU - special housing unit aka the hole. Not a place you want to be.
Anyway, I made it. A new kid at school all over again. As soon as the dust settles, I will get my mailing address posted.
More Good News
01/25/10
So today is commissary again... God damn these people can't stick to a schedule what so ever! I didn't need anything really, but I picked up a radio, advil, a watch (not to dwell on time, but for exercise purposes), some trail mix, and a much needed dictionary. I was recently reminded how bad my spelling is without the aid of spell check. Atrocious was the adjective used, if I remember correctly. ;)
Anyway, after commissary I got to see the councilor. When I entered her office, I asked where I was on the list of transfers. She looks up my number, then pauses, staring at my small bag of commissary loot. She grins and says, 'Why did you buy all that? Commissary at the camp is ten times better than here. Your going over there tomorrow.'
Holy shit, I am finally going to camp. Away from the depressing 20 hours of lock down, lack of interesting reading material, and lousy food. I can call later in the day and more often, email too, find out about various jobs/programs available, and start exercising. There are aspects of camp I am certain not to like, but you gotta take the good with the bad. I definitely should be able to watch the Superbowl uninterrupted. I'll root for the underdog Saints, but I am certain that the Colts will win.
So today is commissary again... God damn these people can't stick to a schedule what so ever! I didn't need anything really, but I picked up a radio, advil, a watch (not to dwell on time, but for exercise purposes), some trail mix, and a much needed dictionary. I was recently reminded how bad my spelling is without the aid of spell check. Atrocious was the adjective used, if I remember correctly. ;)
Anyway, after commissary I got to see the councilor. When I entered her office, I asked where I was on the list of transfers. She looks up my number, then pauses, staring at my small bag of commissary loot. She grins and says, 'Why did you buy all that? Commissary at the camp is ten times better than here. Your going over there tomorrow.'
Holy shit, I am finally going to camp. Away from the depressing 20 hours of lock down, lack of interesting reading material, and lousy food. I can call later in the day and more often, email too, find out about various jobs/programs available, and start exercising. There are aspects of camp I am certain not to like, but you gotta take the good with the bad. I definitely should be able to watch the Superbowl uninterrupted. I'll root for the underdog Saints, but I am certain that the Colts will win.
Roommates suck worse in the pen.
01/24/10
I woke up extra early today to make phone calls to my oldest brother and younger sister, both whom I have yet to talk to, with no luck.
My celly is scheduled to transfer out today along with 30-40 other inmates from this facility. That also means people are being transferred in to take their place, which I am not looking forward to. I don't know when this is happening, and neither does my celly. I hear so many people doing obnoxious shit all throughout the day and into the night, it makes me cringe to think I could get stuck with someone like that. People yelling out of their cells at other people, singing horribly, dropping rancid deuces while locked down - just plain disrespectful actions with total disregard for the others in the cell. Some people just don't care... which is one major factor for why incarceration is so difficult on people.
Well, what do you know... no transfer. Now he is saying Tuesday might be the day the 'chain' rolls out. (The chain refers to the bus; all inmates are chained to each other, hence the term). Again, I feel bad for him because they just don't tell you shit. Anyway, he is taking it in stride. The plus side for me (selfishly) is that I don't have to worry about getting an asshole for a celly for a few more days.
I woke up extra early today to make phone calls to my oldest brother and younger sister, both whom I have yet to talk to, with no luck.
My celly is scheduled to transfer out today along with 30-40 other inmates from this facility. That also means people are being transferred in to take their place, which I am not looking forward to. I don't know when this is happening, and neither does my celly. I hear so many people doing obnoxious shit all throughout the day and into the night, it makes me cringe to think I could get stuck with someone like that. People yelling out of their cells at other people, singing horribly, dropping rancid deuces while locked down - just plain disrespectful actions with total disregard for the others in the cell. Some people just don't care... which is one major factor for why incarceration is so difficult on people.
Well, what do you know... no transfer. Now he is saying Tuesday might be the day the 'chain' rolls out. (The chain refers to the bus; all inmates are chained to each other, hence the term). Again, I feel bad for him because they just don't tell you shit. Anyway, he is taking it in stride. The plus side for me (selfishly) is that I don't have to worry about getting an asshole for a celly for a few more days.
Friday, January 29, 2010
The reason I haven't called you...
01/23/10
Today was a good day. My spirit is still riding high from the boost commissary gave me on Friday. I got a bunch of posts ready and shipped out for the next few days. I tried to call my oldest brother only to be disconnected right after he accepted my call, therefore barring me from calling again for thirty minutes. I was bummed, but hopefully he understands that HIS CELL SERVICE IS TO BLAME!
Anyway, I am still anxiously awaiting for this damn councilor to return, as she has been gone since last Thursday. She can give me some sort of indication as to how long I might be waiting to transfer to camp. When I finally transfer, I will post my mailing address here for all to acquire. FYI, the comment box has been enabled so feel free to leave some. They will be compiled and sent to me regularly and I can address them either here in this forum, or alternatively via email direct to the appropriate author.
Another note: I have been told you won't receive notices in your regular email account telling you I responded or wrote you an email. You have to log in and check via the stupid website the feds set up to rape me of my hard earned money. However, it is still cheaper than the phone calls, so I really can't complain.
Otherwise, thanks for reading. I know I haven't made contact with some of you, but with only 3 hours of free time a day, and crazy restrictions on phone and internet usage, is making it difficult. Compounded by the fact 99% of you have day jobs which is the only time I am really out and about, you can see why you haven't heard from me yet. Anyway, one by one, I will touch base with each of you. Besides, I have nothing but time on my hands. 'Idle hands are the devil's play things.'
Today was a good day. My spirit is still riding high from the boost commissary gave me on Friday. I got a bunch of posts ready and shipped out for the next few days. I tried to call my oldest brother only to be disconnected right after he accepted my call, therefore barring me from calling again for thirty minutes. I was bummed, but hopefully he understands that HIS CELL SERVICE IS TO BLAME!
Anyway, I am still anxiously awaiting for this damn councilor to return, as she has been gone since last Thursday. She can give me some sort of indication as to how long I might be waiting to transfer to camp. When I finally transfer, I will post my mailing address here for all to acquire. FYI, the comment box has been enabled so feel free to leave some. They will be compiled and sent to me regularly and I can address them either here in this forum, or alternatively via email direct to the appropriate author.
Another note: I have been told you won't receive notices in your regular email account telling you I responded or wrote you an email. You have to log in and check via the stupid website the feds set up to rape me of my hard earned money. However, it is still cheaper than the phone calls, so I really can't complain.
Otherwise, thanks for reading. I know I haven't made contact with some of you, but with only 3 hours of free time a day, and crazy restrictions on phone and internet usage, is making it difficult. Compounded by the fact 99% of you have day jobs which is the only time I am really out and about, you can see why you haven't heard from me yet. Anyway, one by one, I will touch base with each of you. Besides, I have nothing but time on my hands. 'Idle hands are the devil's play things.'
Finally Some Good News
01/22/10
Oh happy days! Commissary finally came. Even the rain couldn't dampen my spirits today. You see, we have to go outside to the basketball court to a window where a C.O. is stationed and turn in our shopping lists and wait for them to call our names and pick up our loot. I was in the first group of 15 out of the total 124+ to drop off my list. So in turn I got my bounty pretty quick. I got everything I needed: all essential shower items, medicines, eating utensils, and real shoes (they feel like I am walking on clouds)! So for the first time since my arrival, I got to use real soap, shampoo, a real razor, a real toothbrush, real toothpaste and floss! Needless to say, for the first time since my arrival, I feel squeaky clean. When you get here, you only get a sliver of soap, a 3' long toothbrush (which the bristles rapidly fall out of while brushing), toothpaste that doesn't leave you with a minty clean feeling, a razor that will chew your face off, and NO shampoo. Ridiculous. Preposterous. Can't be true, you say? Well I assure you it is.
Life will be a breeze now that I can properly take care of myself. Only thing left to look forward to is my transfer to camp. Otherwise, my email to blog is up and running, I need to send out some visitor forms, and stay very busy.
Oh happy days! Commissary finally came. Even the rain couldn't dampen my spirits today. You see, we have to go outside to the basketball court to a window where a C.O. is stationed and turn in our shopping lists and wait for them to call our names and pick up our loot. I was in the first group of 15 out of the total 124+ to drop off my list. So in turn I got my bounty pretty quick. I got everything I needed: all essential shower items, medicines, eating utensils, and real shoes (they feel like I am walking on clouds)! So for the first time since my arrival, I got to use real soap, shampoo, a real razor, a real toothbrush, real toothpaste and floss! Needless to say, for the first time since my arrival, I feel squeaky clean. When you get here, you only get a sliver of soap, a 3' long toothbrush (which the bristles rapidly fall out of while brushing), toothpaste that doesn't leave you with a minty clean feeling, a razor that will chew your face off, and NO shampoo. Ridiculous. Preposterous. Can't be true, you say? Well I assure you it is.
Life will be a breeze now that I can properly take care of myself. Only thing left to look forward to is my transfer to camp. Otherwise, my email to blog is up and running, I need to send out some visitor forms, and stay very busy.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
A Day without Rain
01/21/10
I woke up to a bright light that flooded my cell this morning. Disorientated for a moment, I actually thought that I was home, in my own bed. When I first opened my eyes, I couldn't see anything but bright light. As my eyes focused, I could see the 12' razor wire fence holding a basketball court hostage. Further out, an identical parallel fence line with razor wire filling in the 10' gap, and out in the distance, a circle line from a neigboring field. I knew then right were I was. As I cleared the cobwebs, I realized today is the first day it hasn't rained here in 2 full weeks. Unfortunately, I also learned that we would not get to enjoy outdoor rec., which also meant no commissary today. Again, two devastating blows to my already fragile self, and it was barely 7:30am.
My concern with the rest of the day is staying in bed as much as possible to avoid any potential for infection. My blister wound on my heal dried out so much, it has split wide open. Only having been issued 2 pair of socks, and still having no antibacterial ointment, or any shower shoes - I really have no way to protect myself from the probabilty of infection.
I polished off yet another book and continue to lay in bed. I really wish these beds were comfortable enough to sleep the rest of the day away and get on with tomorrow.
Dinner was exceptionally unappealing so I traded it all for fruit. 1 orange, 1 banana, and 2 apples. Fine by me as they were all perfectly ripe and quite delicious.
I now feel like a kid on Christmas eve. Tomorrow... finally... commissary! It was confirmed by the C.O. on duty, and while that still isn't concrete, I can't help myself but to believe otherwise.
Email is finally up so everything should start being uploaded soon. Within another weeks time, the entries will be posted only a couple days after I write them up.
I woke up to a bright light that flooded my cell this morning. Disorientated for a moment, I actually thought that I was home, in my own bed. When I first opened my eyes, I couldn't see anything but bright light. As my eyes focused, I could see the 12' razor wire fence holding a basketball court hostage. Further out, an identical parallel fence line with razor wire filling in the 10' gap, and out in the distance, a circle line from a neigboring field. I knew then right were I was. As I cleared the cobwebs, I realized today is the first day it hasn't rained here in 2 full weeks. Unfortunately, I also learned that we would not get to enjoy outdoor rec., which also meant no commissary today. Again, two devastating blows to my already fragile self, and it was barely 7:30am.
My concern with the rest of the day is staying in bed as much as possible to avoid any potential for infection. My blister wound on my heal dried out so much, it has split wide open. Only having been issued 2 pair of socks, and still having no antibacterial ointment, or any shower shoes - I really have no way to protect myself from the probabilty of infection.
I polished off yet another book and continue to lay in bed. I really wish these beds were comfortable enough to sleep the rest of the day away and get on with tomorrow.
Dinner was exceptionally unappealing so I traded it all for fruit. 1 orange, 1 banana, and 2 apples. Fine by me as they were all perfectly ripe and quite delicious.
I now feel like a kid on Christmas eve. Tomorrow... finally... commissary! It was confirmed by the C.O. on duty, and while that still isn't concrete, I can't help myself but to believe otherwise.
Email is finally up so everything should start being uploaded soon. Within another weeks time, the entries will be posted only a couple days after I write them up.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
More Bad News
01/20/10
So I think I have mentioned before how the C.O.'s switch the release pattern for rec. time and food randomly. However, today we have a new C.O. and this guy doesn't know his head from his ass. He let out a seemingly random amount of people from random cells - no structure at all. To make matters worse, instead of an hour out, we only got 30 minutes. Everyone is confused and pissed to say the least. Another C.O. came by to check on something for him and questioned him about his unusual release. With a boisterous reply he said, 'This is my unit, I will run it how I want!' The other C.O. shook his head and left. Any guesses as to who the newbie is and who the vet is? It is shitty how their inflated egos and obvious lack of common sense will make some of these guys turn into complete dicks. Add to that the fact that they can do almost whatever they want with total disregard to how it affects our temperaments. So far, only one C.O. is looked almost unanimously with respect,simply because he respects us back. He gives no special treatment, but he is consistent day in and day out and doesn't flex his authority on us. He simply knows what it takes to run a smooth operation. We do our part and in turn, he does his.
During lunch, I could feel the warm trickle of blood from my lip. I haven't seen a mirror in days and I knew my lips were chapping, but I had no idea how badly. The air in here is bone dry, even though it rains every damn day. It can dry a soaking wet towel in about an hour. I have only been drinking water, so I know I am not dehydrated whatsoever. I am also feeling the signs of a mild cold sore coming on my upper lip. All this shitty news and delays would be bearable if I didn't have so many physical things going against me. There are two major health factors to be weary of in prison: Staph infections, and a type of flesh eating bacteria that a doctor told me about after learning of my up coming trip. She has seen the results in her patients after coming back from this very facility and others.This facility is really taking a physical toll on me. Commissary just can't come fast enough.
I again received shitty news that commissary won't happen till Friday. I also got word from a friend that I am 17th on the list of transfers to camp. I wasn't around to talk to the coucilor to verify that claim. If it is true, it could be 3 weeks before I get to move. The only relatively sure thing I can count on right now as of today is - 43 weeks to go.
So I think I have mentioned before how the C.O.'s switch the release pattern for rec. time and food randomly. However, today we have a new C.O. and this guy doesn't know his head from his ass. He let out a seemingly random amount of people from random cells - no structure at all. To make matters worse, instead of an hour out, we only got 30 minutes. Everyone is confused and pissed to say the least. Another C.O. came by to check on something for him and questioned him about his unusual release. With a boisterous reply he said, 'This is my unit, I will run it how I want!' The other C.O. shook his head and left. Any guesses as to who the newbie is and who the vet is? It is shitty how their inflated egos and obvious lack of common sense will make some of these guys turn into complete dicks. Add to that the fact that they can do almost whatever they want with total disregard to how it affects our temperaments. So far, only one C.O. is looked almost unanimously with respect,simply because he respects us back. He gives no special treatment, but he is consistent day in and day out and doesn't flex his authority on us. He simply knows what it takes to run a smooth operation. We do our part and in turn, he does his.
During lunch, I could feel the warm trickle of blood from my lip. I haven't seen a mirror in days and I knew my lips were chapping, but I had no idea how badly. The air in here is bone dry, even though it rains every damn day. It can dry a soaking wet towel in about an hour. I have only been drinking water, so I know I am not dehydrated whatsoever. I am also feeling the signs of a mild cold sore coming on my upper lip. All this shitty news and delays would be bearable if I didn't have so many physical things going against me. There are two major health factors to be weary of in prison: Staph infections, and a type of flesh eating bacteria that a doctor told me about after learning of my up coming trip. She has seen the results in her patients after coming back from this very facility and others.This facility is really taking a physical toll on me. Commissary just can't come fast enough.
I again received shitty news that commissary won't happen till Friday. I also got word from a friend that I am 17th on the list of transfers to camp. I wasn't around to talk to the coucilor to verify that claim. If it is true, it could be 3 weeks before I get to move. The only relatively sure thing I can count on right now as of today is - 43 weeks to go.
Fresh Hell
01/19/10
No transfer to camp, no commissary. I feel like I have been punched in the gut... twice. I know better that to expect different, but the odds were 50/50 that one of the two things would happen. Comfort and basic needs met by commissary, and freedom from this constant lock down from the move to camp. Now, nothing and still no email access in sight. Today is a low point. But I have to remember that it could be, at any time, much worse. All this bad news and it isn't even 8am.
The rest of the day went without incident. Entries from the coming weeks until my transfer will likely be the same. I finished yet another book. While entertaining and extremely captivating, it has left me with a wicked head ache as my body refuses to relax in this bed during my reading sessions or during sleep for that matter. Tonight's discomforts are compounded by the constant and relentless screaming from various cells back and forth in Spanish, with the occassional 'Shut the fuck up!' thrown in the mix. While it happens every night to some degree, tonight seems to be more hostile sounding than before. It could also just be the frustration of not having commissary yet - which affects everyone.
Futile as the task seems, I need to try and get some sleep. I predict tomorrow to be a very long day.
No transfer to camp, no commissary. I feel like I have been punched in the gut... twice. I know better that to expect different, but the odds were 50/50 that one of the two things would happen. Comfort and basic needs met by commissary, and freedom from this constant lock down from the move to camp. Now, nothing and still no email access in sight. Today is a low point. But I have to remember that it could be, at any time, much worse. All this bad news and it isn't even 8am.
The rest of the day went without incident. Entries from the coming weeks until my transfer will likely be the same. I finished yet another book. While entertaining and extremely captivating, it has left me with a wicked head ache as my body refuses to relax in this bed during my reading sessions or during sleep for that matter. Tonight's discomforts are compounded by the constant and relentless screaming from various cells back and forth in Spanish, with the occassional 'Shut the fuck up!' thrown in the mix. While it happens every night to some degree, tonight seems to be more hostile sounding than before. It could also just be the frustration of not having commissary yet - which affects everyone.
Futile as the task seems, I need to try and get some sleep. I predict tomorrow to be a very long day.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Roommate Update
01/18/10
Today was fine in the grand scheme of things. I got my new permanent spot for lunch and dinner, got ahold of people I had yet to contact via phone, polished off yet another book, and filled out my commissary list for purchase tomorrow.
I hear rumours that we won't transfer to camp tomorrow as a large portion of staff are off site getting training. It's still a rumour, but I am thinking it won't happen either.
My celly is moody, I think they need to up his happy pills. While we don't talk much, but for all intents and purposes, I feel we fully understand each other and our routines of sleep and relative solidarity matched up well from the begining. I honestly think his frustration is not knowing when he will be transfered and were his final destination will be. They feds seem to like to have that upper hand and control on you. It fucks with people... hard. He isn't the only one either, for many this is just a layover until the have collected enough inmates going the same direction to fill a bus and send them off. In many cases, the inmates repeatedly go this process for months until they arrive at their final destination. I sympathize with the frustration that builds from this process and feel lucky that again I didn't have to go through the leg of the process and suffer through being transfered from Missoula, MT to Sheridan, OR. Keep in mind your ankles are shackled and your hands cuffed the entire way. Eat, shit, sleep all in shackles for the duration of the trip.
Either way, I give him the benefit of the doubt. He's been cordial and given plenty of advice that has helped. I am sure he will level out and things will go back to normal.
Today was fine in the grand scheme of things. I got my new permanent spot for lunch and dinner, got ahold of people I had yet to contact via phone, polished off yet another book, and filled out my commissary list for purchase tomorrow.
I hear rumours that we won't transfer to camp tomorrow as a large portion of staff are off site getting training. It's still a rumour, but I am thinking it won't happen either.
My celly is moody, I think they need to up his happy pills. While we don't talk much, but for all intents and purposes, I feel we fully understand each other and our routines of sleep and relative solidarity matched up well from the begining. I honestly think his frustration is not knowing when he will be transfered and were his final destination will be. They feds seem to like to have that upper hand and control on you. It fucks with people... hard. He isn't the only one either, for many this is just a layover until the have collected enough inmates going the same direction to fill a bus and send them off. In many cases, the inmates repeatedly go this process for months until they arrive at their final destination. I sympathize with the frustration that builds from this process and feel lucky that again I didn't have to go through the leg of the process and suffer through being transfered from Missoula, MT to Sheridan, OR. Keep in mind your ankles are shackled and your hands cuffed the entire way. Eat, shit, sleep all in shackles for the duration of the trip.
Either way, I give him the benefit of the doubt. He's been cordial and given plenty of advice that has helped. I am sure he will level out and things will go back to normal.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Round 2
01/17/10
Today, lunch is all that is on my mind. Unfortunately, my cell was again opened last, and with the full capacity of this unit, left me with only one place to sit and eat. I feel like I am being thrust into an arena, staring down a rabid bull with mad cow disease who is likely to start rampaging at any minute. I sit down, keeping an ever cautious eye on 'chuckles'. Within minutes his haunting laugh starts quietly and escalates. Even the next table over takes notice and is seemingly put on edge by him. Undaunted, I continue with my spaghetti as it is one of the more decent meals here. Finally finished, and without incident, I stand up and empty my tray.
Dinner: Again I am let out last. No sign of 'chuckles.' 'Perhaps he's not eating,' I foolishly think to myself. I sit at my usual spot across from the disheveled white dude I spoke of earlier, same as it was before the unfortunate transfer of chuckles. I was so focused on my tray I didn't hear him sit down at the table and as I looked up, I felt his stare penetrate right through me. This is by far the most intense stare I have seen from him yet and again accompanied by that laugh. I finished and calmly cleared my tray.
During rec. after dinner, some of my new acquaintances advised me that they would make a spot available to me for lunch tomorrow, and advised that I take them up on the offer. I feel, given their knowledge and experience in identifying these kinds of people, I should and will follow their advice.
Anyway, a new book awaits me. Hopefully I get online tomorrow and get to post all my entries from this past week.
Today, lunch is all that is on my mind. Unfortunately, my cell was again opened last, and with the full capacity of this unit, left me with only one place to sit and eat. I feel like I am being thrust into an arena, staring down a rabid bull with mad cow disease who is likely to start rampaging at any minute. I sit down, keeping an ever cautious eye on 'chuckles'. Within minutes his haunting laugh starts quietly and escalates. Even the next table over takes notice and is seemingly put on edge by him. Undaunted, I continue with my spaghetti as it is one of the more decent meals here. Finally finished, and without incident, I stand up and empty my tray.
Dinner: Again I am let out last. No sign of 'chuckles.' 'Perhaps he's not eating,' I foolishly think to myself. I sit at my usual spot across from the disheveled white dude I spoke of earlier, same as it was before the unfortunate transfer of chuckles. I was so focused on my tray I didn't hear him sit down at the table and as I looked up, I felt his stare penetrate right through me. This is by far the most intense stare I have seen from him yet and again accompanied by that laugh. I finished and calmly cleared my tray.
During rec. after dinner, some of my new acquaintances advised me that they would make a spot available to me for lunch tomorrow, and advised that I take them up on the offer. I feel, given their knowledge and experience in identifying these kinds of people, I should and will follow their advice.
Anyway, a new book awaits me. Hopefully I get online tomorrow and get to post all my entries from this past week.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
New Neighbors...
01/16/10
Last night yielded no sleep as 25+ inmates were ushered in around 1am. As I my cell is located next to the only door in or out, you can imagine why. My bed no longer feels like I have that 2' mattress between me and the steel slab bed I sleep on.
I saw my face for the first time today in a borrowed mirror. The sleepless nights have taken their toll. That, combined with my psoriasis having gone untreated, have really unleashed hell on my face. Tuesday can't come fast enough...
Interesting encounter today involving one of the newly transferred inmates from last night. Normally I sit adjacent to a disheveled looking white dude who says nothing...ever. Perfect for someone like me who just wants to eat and get out of there. As it is I barely have enough time to eat the portions I want before being told to dump our trays. Since my cell is opened last to line up, I am last to get food, and have less time than most in which to eat in. Anyway, during lunch this older, graying Mexican guy sits down, and then a younger 30 something Mexican fills the four person table. The younger guy strikes me as odd. He has a thousand yard stare about him. I write off the ghostly stare as fatigue from the rumored 12+ hour bus ride into Sheridan. Right before I get up to dump my tray, the dude starts laughing. I assumed someone said something to him Spanish and thought nothing more of it.... until dinner.
Same players, same positions at the table. This time, I am really getting an off vibe from this guy. He is looking through people, not at them, and his maniacl laugh rings out unprovoked immediately upon sitting down, continuing even as he shoved food into his mouth. The older Mexican left the table at the insistence of an inmate who has been here a while, leaving only me and the fore-mentioned white dude with him. Luckily dinner sucked and I left in record time. After dinner, during recreation time (rec) this crazy dude is all that is being talked about by the other inmates, with one common message: keep an eye on this guy, he's not playing with a full deck.
Needless to say, I will be searching for a new seat tomorrow.
Last night yielded no sleep as 25+ inmates were ushered in around 1am. As I my cell is located next to the only door in or out, you can imagine why. My bed no longer feels like I have that 2' mattress between me and the steel slab bed I sleep on.
I saw my face for the first time today in a borrowed mirror. The sleepless nights have taken their toll. That, combined with my psoriasis having gone untreated, have really unleashed hell on my face. Tuesday can't come fast enough...
Interesting encounter today involving one of the newly transferred inmates from last night. Normally I sit adjacent to a disheveled looking white dude who says nothing...ever. Perfect for someone like me who just wants to eat and get out of there. As it is I barely have enough time to eat the portions I want before being told to dump our trays. Since my cell is opened last to line up, I am last to get food, and have less time than most in which to eat in. Anyway, during lunch this older, graying Mexican guy sits down, and then a younger 30 something Mexican fills the four person table. The younger guy strikes me as odd. He has a thousand yard stare about him. I write off the ghostly stare as fatigue from the rumored 12+ hour bus ride into Sheridan. Right before I get up to dump my tray, the dude starts laughing. I assumed someone said something to him Spanish and thought nothing more of it.... until dinner.
Same players, same positions at the table. This time, I am really getting an off vibe from this guy. He is looking through people, not at them, and his maniacl laugh rings out unprovoked immediately upon sitting down, continuing even as he shoved food into his mouth. The older Mexican left the table at the insistence of an inmate who has been here a while, leaving only me and the fore-mentioned white dude with him. Luckily dinner sucked and I left in record time. After dinner, during recreation time (rec) this crazy dude is all that is being talked about by the other inmates, with one common message: keep an eye on this guy, he's not playing with a full deck.
Needless to say, I will be searching for a new seat tomorrow.
Updates
01/15/10
Today goes like the rest. Sleep, eat, read, shower, read, read some more, eat, read, and repeat.
My money came through no problem, but still no direct phone access.
The cold continues to lighten up, the blister is nasty and huge.
Talking to various inmates today only solidified what I said yesterday about how good I got it. Horrible story after another about other facilities, and how lucky I am to be able to self report. While every story is different in detail, the main points are the same. DON'T FUCK UP AGAIN. Make your first time your last; learn, grow, and close that chapter of your life.
That's it, short and sweet. Gonna read and try my luck at getting some sleep.
Today goes like the rest. Sleep, eat, read, shower, read, read some more, eat, read, and repeat.
My money came through no problem, but still no direct phone access.
The cold continues to lighten up, the blister is nasty and huge.
Talking to various inmates today only solidified what I said yesterday about how good I got it. Horrible story after another about other facilities, and how lucky I am to be able to self report. While every story is different in detail, the main points are the same. DON'T FUCK UP AGAIN. Make your first time your last; learn, grow, and close that chapter of your life.
That's it, short and sweet. Gonna read and try my luck at getting some sleep.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
It could be worse?
01/14/10
Another day. Another loooooooong ass day. I finally got into the system and was able to make a collect call to my brother. I had to be quick as the rate is ridiciously priced. I should have money on my books tomorrow barring some unforeseen problem. Tuesday will be here before long and it is vital that I get my affairs in order. There is a chance I will transfer to camp before I get to purchase commissary and will have to wait another two weeks, as it will be closed next week for inventory. That would suck bad...
You don't know how much you miss the little things till you don't have them. Cliche` yes, but 100% accurate description of the situation. While being out for a total of four hours a day sucks, this is a minor complaint I hear in comparison to other facilities dilapidated buildings, not nearly enough portions of food, overrun with bugs...
I am nearly finished with another book and will start the next before falling asleep tonight. I only walked two miles as I havee developed a nasty blister on the bottom of my heal. Another pressing reason I need commissary, to get actual shoes in lieu of these china made, cardboard soled shoes. My cold is getting somewhat better, but my nose plugs up at night and it is hard to breath or get any sleep. The additional blanket helped keep the chill off, but the jacket did little in the way of comfort for a pillow.
I know I sound like I am bitching a lot... but that's my nature. 'Nothing is good enough for you, is it.' as I have heard so many times from my friends. However, make no mistake about it. I have it better than 90% of my fellow inmates here. I don't want anyone to believe any different. That is the silver lining in all this. The encouragement from my friends and family, and the knowledge that I have a support system that I can trust and rely on is a huge reason I know I will do just fine; not only during my stay here, but long after this process is done.
Well, I'm due to polish off this book before bed and start another tomorrow. At this average, I could read our entire library in 2 months (it's that tiny!).
Another day. Another loooooooong ass day. I finally got into the system and was able to make a collect call to my brother. I had to be quick as the rate is ridiciously priced. I should have money on my books tomorrow barring some unforeseen problem. Tuesday will be here before long and it is vital that I get my affairs in order. There is a chance I will transfer to camp before I get to purchase commissary and will have to wait another two weeks, as it will be closed next week for inventory. That would suck bad...
You don't know how much you miss the little things till you don't have them. Cliche` yes, but 100% accurate description of the situation. While being out for a total of four hours a day sucks, this is a minor complaint I hear in comparison to other facilities dilapidated buildings, not nearly enough portions of food, overrun with bugs...
I am nearly finished with another book and will start the next before falling asleep tonight. I only walked two miles as I havee developed a nasty blister on the bottom of my heal. Another pressing reason I need commissary, to get actual shoes in lieu of these china made, cardboard soled shoes. My cold is getting somewhat better, but my nose plugs up at night and it is hard to breath or get any sleep. The additional blanket helped keep the chill off, but the jacket did little in the way of comfort for a pillow.
I know I sound like I am bitching a lot... but that's my nature. 'Nothing is good enough for you, is it.' as I have heard so many times from my friends. However, make no mistake about it. I have it better than 90% of my fellow inmates here. I don't want anyone to believe any different. That is the silver lining in all this. The encouragement from my friends and family, and the knowledge that I have a support system that I can trust and rely on is a huge reason I know I will do just fine; not only during my stay here, but long after this process is done.
Well, I'm due to polish off this book before bed and start another tomorrow. At this average, I could read our entire library in 2 months (it's that tiny!).
Friday, January 22, 2010
Poor Sleep
Last night sucked for many reasons. First, my cell is next to the main door for the guards to enter through. When they radio in to unlock it, a loud buzz sounds followed by a bassy latch releasing, then finally by the thunderous slamming of the heavy door. This is repeated multiple times a night and all throughout the morning. Another reason for discomfort is the 2' thick mattress on a steel bed offers little to no comfort. I still don't have a pillow and had to use my second blanket as one which left me shivering all night as it is really cold in here, which turned my cough into a full on cold. Definitely not how I wanted to enter this situation, but obviously I have no choice. The only comfort of last night was a vivid dream I had of doing the most mundane activities in Seattle. I went to QFC for groceries, stopped by Emerald City Smoothie for a drink, and bought a movie from Gruv, then went home. Strange how I could already be missing the little things in life.
I skipped breakfast at 6am because my celly said you get locked back down right after. For lunch rec, I walked a mile (18 laps) around the upper tier of the block. I want to do an average of 3 miles a day if time allows. Lunch food sucked, as to be expected, but it's complain and go hungry, or shut up and eat.
This evening I got my laundry, 2 pair of socks, boxers, shirts, 1 banana yellow jumpsuit to accompany the one I am already wearing and a jacket. Hopefully it is softer than the blanket inplace of a pillow. At least I will be warmer than last night.
I should be able to finish this ridicilous book tonight and move onto something better tomorrow.
GHD
I skipped breakfast at 6am because my celly said you get locked back down right after. For lunch rec, I walked a mile (18 laps) around the upper tier of the block. I want to do an average of 3 miles a day if time allows. Lunch food sucked, as to be expected, but it's complain and go hungry, or shut up and eat.
This evening I got my laundry, 2 pair of socks, boxers, shirts, 1 banana yellow jumpsuit to accompany the one I am already wearing and a jacket. Hopefully it is softer than the blanket inplace of a pillow. At least I will be warmer than last night.
I should be able to finish this ridicilous book tonight and move onto something better tomorrow.
GHD
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)