The Hole, pt 2

3-16
Ever wonder what a mental institute might sound like, day-to-day? Hell, I'd bet everything I got that this is damn close to it. I remember bitching about the nightly animal noises in J-1 in my first week or so of posts, but this place can't hold a candle to it. The constant wailing and guttural screams of inmates reverberate throughout the SHU. I don't know if it's out of sheer boredom or something more chemical, but they are ever vigilant in their screaming. It is really starting to get to me as I can't seem to tune it out. I am sure it's something akin to living in a zoo, which is also a great analogy to make. Weekly we get some random suit-and-tie sticking his fat face in our tiny door windows. I am surprised they don't serve them popcorn or hand out brochures outlining our histories, as these visits seem to be the entertainment of the unknown suit - yet most likely, they are here by contractual obligation.
What sucks even more is that this situation really brings out the pessimist in me. As I've said, I could be here ninety days before I find out my fate and up to another ninety days awaiting transfer, should that be the case. It's harder yet as I watch Spring arriving, taunting me with some of the nicest-looking weather in months. I can even see people from camp out making the most of their days, relishing every minute of it. Believe me, I was soaking it up prior to this, never wasting away a single day. There were so many things to focus myself on, I couldn't afford to ignore them for a moment. Life in a fucking shoebox is no life at all, just a fuckin' illusion...