The Hole, fín.

*Editor's note: I'm the worst blogger in the world. Please accept my sincerest apologies as I try to update my ass off***


3/26
Today they moved everyone to different cells. We got moved to a three-man cell which has a bunk over the small metal desk. While we won't have three people living here (thank fucking god!) it cuts the amount of "free space" (what an oxymoron!) in half. It is already causing a great deal of tension between my celly and I. I can't stand the childish ignorance he spews out of that broken faucet he calls his mouth, and it's only getting worse.
On Monday, the guard told three inmates, including myself, "pack up, you're going home" (ie back from whence we came - in my case, camp). They took two of the guys, but left me here. When I asked, the shift change had just come on, so no one knew what I was talking about. Tuesday, the guard from Monday asked why I was still there, I told him I had no clue. By the day's end, I had no answers and a growing concern about my status. Wednesday, I asked a different guard what was going on and he said that the captain (who has final say on where I end up) said he had to ask the SIS investigator a question before making his decision. The guard alluded to the SIS lady being out for the rest of the week, so naturally my hope of being freed from here starts next week. Tuesday the 30th will mark a whole month of being here, one week shy of balancing with the five weeks i was in camp. In a strange way with the exception of this week, the time has gone by relatively fast in here. I think it's partly because I spend almost 12 hours sleeping, but who knows?
The only upside to this information is it tells me which way the investigation is heading - I just wish it would hurry the fuck up.

3/30
Here I sit, four weeks to the day since my arrival, and yet again I am not being transferred back to camp. Yesterday, the camp administrator told me I should be leaving by Tuesday at the latest, yet here I sit. Difference between this week's and last week's news is the title and rank of the camp administrator, which implies the information should be true and accurate. After all, the camp is his domain and he answers only to one man, the warden. Whereas last week my info was from low-level CO, it was reckless to get my hopes up again, but it's hard not to considering the source.
My frustrations have continued to build since the arrival of my assailant to this floor. He talks about the incident freely, as if cheap shotting someone is some great feat to gloat about. Today I over-heard him (you have to yell out your cell door to each other to talk) saying how even he is surprised he hasn't been charged. He said the evidence against him was so overwhelming and accurate, he didn't even try to lie to the SIS lady. I'm skeptical about the last statement, but given what I do know, I am slightly inclined to believe the first statement. Which makes me question, Why is this taking so long? How can the BOP justify their actions these past two weeks? Why am I still being punished. Man, this shit just wears me out.
In other news, my celly suddenly got word today that he is being transferred out. A small ray of sunshine in an otherwise bleak month. It's hard to say how much longer I would have been able to tolerate his seemingly infinite ignorance. The downside is, of course, the gamble of dealing with an all new personality. It is inevitable that they will do so, only a matter of time. If I had my way, I wouldn't have a roomy. If I was forced to pick one, I'd choose a deaf mute who sleeps 23.5 hours a day. One can dream, can't he?

4/1
I wish I didn't write that last post until later that night or the next day, as yet again I have allowed myself to become a victim of their disinformation. I swear they are as bad as the Nazi party in their heyday at spreading false truths, and I'm so naïve, I keep buying into the bullshit. Let me explain: After sending the last letter expressing some optimism in my situation due to the information I received from a man of significant authority, I was informed by a simple, low-level counselor that the investigation has taken a big step backwards. She said I should expect to be in here another 2 - 4 weeks, as the captain wants the investigation to start all over. So again, I'm left completely in the dark, with no hope in sight.
Another revelation on the subject I learned today is that my assailant did lie to the SIS. He claims I pushed him. That is his reasoning for hitting me, despite what he tells everyone here in the hole. Obviously he is trying to cover up for his cowardly move because he knows people just won't put up with unprovoked attacks. So again, my innocence can only be proven from the witnesses. I thought that when I was originally told to pack out on the 22nd, three weeks into investigation, that surely the evidence in my favor was overwhelming - that's the only reason I could be going home so soon. Now it feels like I'm starting over, like I just walked into the hole for the first time. It's ironic considering it was one year ago to the day that I was first arrested -I had many questions and zero answers.
It's a shame I never got around to posting the letters I wrote during those few days I was locked up after being arrested. I do remember one detail quite vividly about my first court date on April 1st, 2009. That was my total shock at realizing I was facing the feds, not the state. I realized it as soon as the judge said "The United States Government vs. G******* D***." I turned to my lawyer and said "Oh shit, this is federal, huh?" He gravely nodded in reply. I honestly had no clue until that moment how much shit I was in. Anyway, it's certainly not a date worth celebrating. It is, however, currently worth reflecting on because it really only seems like that happened a few months ago. In time, this whole process will be reflected on the same way - over in the blink of an eye.
Anyway, I did get a new celly. Not a bad guy at all. It could always be worse, but not this round. He is (or was) the assistant credit smart teacher from the second attempt on the class. I had only one class with him as I was tossed in the hole two days before my second session. I thought he looked familiar, but I just couldn't place it until we got to BS'ing. He is getting a bad break in my opinion, but I genuinely feel he will come out on top and ride out his situation unscathed.
Alright, I'm done now, and as I know things - so will you.